The Price Of Independance

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All progress comes at a cost.

 

Riding the BART train the other day I saw a young boy hugging his fathers legs, he was probably about 5 years old and barely came up to his fathers waist. He looked around uncertainly as the train moved on, but clearly unafraid. His father was the strength, certainty and wisdom needed to deal with this situation, he needed nothing more.

 

As our eyes narrow with age and our experience broadens, we lose the ability to trust and accept unconditionally the comfort of that trust. It is both tragic and inevitable. Each lesson over time teaches us, sometimes painfully, how far we can trust others. We establish boundaries and historical references, these frame our future trust relationships and reign us in from granting unconditional trust.

 

When we are children we have limited capacity see the end from the beginning. We have yet to learn all the ways we can be let down, disappointed, or simply have others fail for us. Over time we learn to trust ourselves and guard against others. Protecting what is ours and keeping out those that would threaten it. Sadly, I believe this is a required skill here.

 

This doesn’t mean that we need to stop trusting. Life is a balancing act and in our daily lives we are always walking the tightrope between trust and exposure. Learning to both trust others and protect ourselves is a challenge all adults must face and seek their personal balance.

 

But seeing that moment again between the child and his father. Knowing the energies shared…

It reminded me of what I have lost.

And it made me weep. Partially with joy at the beauty of the moment, and partially at sadness for my loss.

 

Namaste,

Kevin

Work as a Sharing Exercise

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I was talking with my daughter today about my needing to go to work. She began to pout and explain that she was sad that I had to go.

I was about to launch into an explanation that I had to go to work to earn money to put a roof over her head and food in her belly… But I knew my standard explaination wouldn’t land, so I paused and considered what would a 3 year old understand…

So I launched into a simple story that I trade with my boss. I have knowledge, skills and time. And my company has money. I share my time with my company and in exchange they share their money with me.

As I spoke to her, I felt empowered. I’d never really thought of work in these terms, and the new perspective actually made me feel more powerful. It was quite empowering to look at work from a fair exchange vantage point.

Often, especially when the world is filled with financial fear, we view our jobs as positions of subservience. We are working at the whim of our employer. And many employers like it when we feel this way. We can turn the tables and remind ourselves that we work here on the whim of ourselves. But that is simply switching dominance with dominance. This becomes an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth mentality, where everyone ends up blind and toothless.

Instead, moving our thought process to a sharing mindset, we move toward fair exchange and balance. No longer are we in a power-play, or exercise for dominance. We are now exchanging our valuable services for a share in the companies gold.

I very much enjoyed this new way of looking at my job. I choose to share my time and talents and my company has selected me to share it’s wealth with.

I hope this thinking process leads you to a more empowered day.

Namaste,

Kevin

 

Exchange

The Appropriate Level Of Knowledge

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Knowing more does not always mean understanding more….

I have always been a knowledge seeker.

Most people begin asking why around the age of two, much to my parents annoyance, I never stopped.

Now that I have my own 3 year old of similar mind set, I at least have some sympathy for them.

“Why? Why? Why?”

I have not come to a point in life where I’ve stopped asking why, nor do I anticipate that occurring. But I have come to a point where I understand the risks and challenges involved.

When you ask a 20 year old that has studied history, “What caused the second world war?’ Like a consummate trivial pursuit expert that will spit back:

“World War Two began in September 1939 when Britain and France declared war on Germany following Germany’s invasion of Poland.”

If you ask a 40 year old history professor the same question, he may pause and consider his answer. Review his potential responses and your level of interest. And if the conditions are right launch into a 30 minute presentation on facism, social unrest, idealism, expansionism and a plethora of other details that may begin to scratch the surface of the a war that raged for years and killed over 60 million people.

So what is the right answer? What is the appropriate level of knowledge? Where do you find that you are in fact drawing appropriate conclusions about a situation versus getting lost in the details and minutia?

There is a value in information at one level for drawing conclusions about how something works. Going to the next level will only muddy the waters and may completely remove you from the understanding entirely.

A simple example of this can be seen with any modern mobile phone.

Understanding how to make a phone call relies on a simple understanding of how the buttons operate, and on a modern touch phone which app to launch. Taking knowledge to the next  level simply detracts from your understanding. If someone were to ask you to explain to them how to make a phone call and your response began by describing the processor, operating system and advanced touch screen glass, their eyes would glaze over and they would still not know how to make a call.

With this in mind take a moment to consider your life and your knowledge. There is a point where it is possible to draw valuable conclusions and going beyond that point will simply add complexity, but not clarity.

Appreciate what you know and what you can understand from where you are.

Don’t worry about the next level today, if it’s needed, it will come.

Today you know enough and you are enough.

Namaste,

Kevin

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Creating Space In Your Life

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My Bookcases are full. Much of my world has become full. My possessions have become my possessors. Instead of using and enjoying your stuff, I have become challenged with organizing my stuff and where to keep it.

If you find yourself spending more time shopping for storage solutions and organizing your world, than actually enjoying your world, it may be time to take inventory and assess your priorities.

This was much of the impetus behind the big move we just went through. Reassessing our priorities and re-evaluating if our life was in line with our beliefs.

It wasn’t, and change was the only solution.

Nothing highlights the breadth of your ‘stuff accumulation’ as trying to move it all. When you have to move every thing you own, you really turn a critical eye to what you have and how you use it. I found many things that I had in my possession that I hadn’t touched in years and that I simply no longer had a need for.

Thank goodness there are good organizations around to donate to, Goodwill, Salvation Army, SPCA, the local library, you name it. If you have a favorite cause, they probably have a donation center where you can find a new home for your stuff and help them in the process.

So should I just give it all away and start fresh? What lesson can I learn from my current situation? How would I change things going forward?

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I’m a firm believer in reviewing what you have experienced and finding a way to learn from it. As I’ve gotten rid of many things in this move, I have also held onto the things that have true value to me. I haven’t gotten rid of everything. Also I don’t intend to start on a mission to replace it all with new stuff once I settle again.

I have learned that there is more of a price to pay for owning an item than simply the cost you pay at checkout.

I also do not intend to get rid of everything and enjoy a life devoid of distractions. I know there is a value to that. I sense that the extremity of the path is valid for many, but not my path in this life.

I believe the solution, at least for me, is somewhere in the middle. I choose the middle road to both purge the unneeded and retain the essential.

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I’ve heard it said, “If your life is full, where is the space for new things?”

Allow yourself to let go of the things that are holding you back. Embrace the things that align with who you are, who you are becoming, and who you want to be.

Find the space in the middle where your world both has content and has space. Who knows what exciting things will come to you next.

Namaste,

Kevin

 

The Natural Order

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The world is out of balance. You can feel it in when you wake in the morning. Sense it on the roadways. See it in the eyes of strangers.

 

Everything has a natural order to it.

 

But it is not our job to maintain order.

 

You cannot directly fix the world, but you can observe the imbalance. Through the observation you can see what needs go unmet and find ways to provide within this context. You can’t take responsibility for the imbalance, on the whole, but you can be a source of balance.

 

The universe has a balance to it, and that balance is maintained by universal forces beyond our control. All things naturally seek balance. Perceived imbalance is simply that, a perception. The larger system, the universe, seeks to balance. It is not a desire; it is a fact.

 

However, in the context of universal balance, there are cycles, waves if you will, of motion going toward and moving away from equilibrium. When you see the world out of balance in one direction or another you are witnessing a wave of motion around the greater center.

 

The scale of these movements can be hard to comprehend. These cycles may take months, years, or even many, many lifetimes.

 

A simple analogy, to help understand the bigger picture, is the predator/prey model. By understanding the balance sought between the hunter and the hunted, foxes and rabbits, we can gain an understanding of the larger system.

 

You need a certain number of foxes to keep the rabbit population under control. For example, if you have 1 fox for every 100 rabbits then both populations stay balanced. Each fox will eat a few rabbits. The foxes will have a few babies and the rabbits will have a few more babies and the balance maintains itself.

 

However, if one year the foxes are particularly successful at mating and have many more foxes, these new foxes will need more food. They will eat more rabbits and the rabbit population will decline. Over time the lack of sufficient rabbits will lead to a decline in the fox population.

 

Alternately, if you have too few foxes the rabbit population gets out of control, rabbits eat too much vegetation and with a lower food source the rabbit population declines.

 

Initially, from the outside, the cycles of death and birth appear random and dramatic. But a larger picture starts to form over time of the birth and death rates as you see the natural balance of the populations establish. You can even work out an equation to establish the ideal population of each creature within the system.

 

Each individual life still matters, but the picture of the larger system takes shape and balance can be observed.

 

What does this mean to you?

Should we form a foundation to protect the foxes?

Or start trapping rabbits?

Why should we care?

 

The foxes, the rabbits and the universal search for balance are all related. They all grant us a larger picture perspective on the search for balance and natural order in your own life. You don’t really have to worry about the rabbits or the foxes, the universe will take care of them.

 

For that matter you don’t have to worry about yourself. The universe will take care of you. Worry doesn’t create balance, the natural order of the system does.

 

If you learn how to flow with the universe, you ease the tension with the world around you.

 

If you continue to fight the universe in your attempt to swim upstream against the flow of balance, you will generate angst and discomfort.

 

Your destination is the same whether you flow or fight. The results are the same in both cases, but the experience is completely different. Would you rather life a life in harmony or live a life in conflict?

 

It is important to understand, even though you are subject to larger forces, you are not powerless. You are part of this system. As such you have an integral role in the systemic action and reaction. You are part of the problem and part of the solution.

 

Tap in to your intuition and awareness. Your action is still required in this world. But understanding how to apply that action can be best achieved through using your intuition and being aware.

 

Our attempts to access our intuition are undermined by the flooding of our senses provided by the world around us. The world we live in is bombarding our senses with input. It can be difficult to separate out wheat from the chaff. To retain what is valuable and release what is useless is a crucial skill. Intuitive impulses still exist, but they are drowned in the clutter of all the other input.

 

This muted awareness of our intuition leads to poor decision making. As we tap into our awareness and leverage the resulting intuitive impulses, the appropriate pathway becomes more clear. We can identify the path that will generate the least friction and align our personal goals with the actions of universal balance.

 

Living an intuitive life with appropriate awareness leads to personal balance. You can become a part of the change without feeling responsible for the change.

 

Thinking you must change the world yourself is daunting at best and impossible at worst. On the other hand, approaching your day in a way that enables you to live a balanced and fulfilled life, is liberating and empowering.

 

Be the change that you wish to see and let go of trying to alter the path of the universe. Instead become a peaceful part of the universal natural order.

 

The universe is already in motion and you are in good hands.

Namaste,

Kevin

 

Completing a Journey

The Saga has come to a close.

Our house is sold, accounts paid out, balances transferred.

We managed to live without a home for 6 weeks as we wondered from one shelter to another. (Shelter’s metaphorically, we lived in our travel trailer for about 3 weeks and house-sat for about 3 weeks.) We are now in our new home, 100 miles away from our old. The neighborhood is great. The move was the right thing to do. We’re very excited and life… Is still life.

This has been an epic and daunting portion of my life. Traveling every few weeks to a new home. Setting up, tearing down. Rearranging your worldly possessions every few days. It makes me appreciate a lean unencumbered life without many possessions. But it’s also not for me. I prefer a little more stability. I’m okay with some change, but that was just too frequent for me.

This constant transition over 6 weeks combined with saying goodbye to our old house has left a powerful emotional impact on the entire family. Our 3 year old is just learning the words to express sorrow and loss. When your three year old issues the phrase “Elinor Sad”, it just breaks your heart.

So now we are here, we’ve moved into our new home and the changes will be adapting to the world we’ve moved into. Changes in where the grocery store is, changes in the weather. The world around us has changed, we helped make it change. The dream represented by our lives continues to evolve.

We made it! We are here together and with our relationships to each other intact and strengthened.

As my three year old so eloquently put it, with a big grin on her face, “Elinor come and Mommy come and Daddy come and baby come and puppies coming! Elinor Happy Daddy.”

The family is all together and we couldn’t be more blessed!

Namaste,

Kevin

Now to go unpack another box.

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Being True To Your Self

I don’t tend to be political here. So forgive the intrusion of the physical and political world into the spiritual.

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There is a lot of coverage in the media right now about Edward Snowden. He exposed the NSA for spying on america. Regardless of what else he has done, is doing and will do, he appears to have been true to himself and his beliefs. Regardless of how he did it, as inconvenient as it may have been for the government, he has given a gift to the American people. Truth and Transparency.

The main stream seems to be focused more on holding him accountable and less on holding the government accountable for this violation of our personal freedom and rights. I wish more people would stand up and be true to what they believe in. We’re all in this together.
(SoapBox-Off)

When there is a truth in your life that needs to be spoken or acted upon the consequences are not always pleasant. But being on earth and experiencing life as a human is not always pleasant.

I believe one of our goals here on this planet is honing and refining your spiritual body through lessons and practice, over and over again. One of these lessons is authenticity. When we live a lie or hide from our truth we are weakened and are not being authentic.

This is a long term lesson in many cases. It can take years to even become aware that you are out of sync with your truth. The practice of awareness leads to awareness of many things. And this cascades into challenges that you were not aware you had to meet. the first challenge is becoming aware that there is a challenge.

Working in a job for 20 years because it’s convenient, even though the stress is slowly killing you and squashing your soul is inauthentic. This is a challenge I’ve personally faced and now that I’ve both become aware of it and found there is another way to live, I continually struggle to pull myself out of the old pattern and set the new pattern into motion.

From the prospective of the whistle blowers of the world, we should appreciate the authenticity that they demonstrate to us. We are complex beings and all of our motivations are not always clear. But when you step out of your comfort and present your truth I believe the results for your spiritual growth are tremendous.

Namaste,

Kevin

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Remember to Breathe

Run, rabbit run. / Dig that hole, forget the sun, / And when at last the work is done / Don’t sit down it’s time to dig another one. – Pink Floyd – Breathe

 

There will always be something else that requires your attention. There will always be another hole to dig, another hill to climb.

 

Slow down.

 

Breathe.

 

Today find something in the world that you didn’t notice before.

Make a note that it is there. Observe it. Appreciate it. Don’t try to change it.

 

Namaste,

Kevin

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Overpass Anxiety

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I had the opportunity recently to walk over a pedestrian overpass. 3 feet thick and 12 feet wide, concrete and steel suspended over a sea of automobiles traveling 80+ miles per hour. The overpass was suspended about 20 feet over the Eight lane highway as I made my way across. It’s exhilarating and a really neat perspective that you don’t normally get on cars.

 

I could not stop myself from feeling a little anxious.

 

As I stood on the overpass trying to identify my angst, I realized that my logical brain and my primitive brain were fighting each other.

 

Logically I was surrounded in a fenced in cage. You can not jump out. You can not fall out. The concrete is not going to collapse. The walkway had survived many years and even many earthquakes. I was safe.

 

My primitive brain on the other hand was freaking out.

 

“There are cars coming right at you!”, my reptile brain stated urgently.

 

“They look like they are going really fast!”, it insisted.

 

“Could we just speed up a bit and get to the other side?”, it began to plead.

 

“Why the hell are you just standing there?”, my reptile brain implored.

 

It is interesting, that after all these years of evolution our primary instincts are pretty locked in. They haven’t really been able to make the shift into our modern life. As recently as 100 years ago this experience would have been unusual, or even impossible, cars were just starting to become common.

 

So on one level, it is crucial that I allow for grace when relating to these parts of my brain. I can realize that I’m dealing with outdated software and expired survival mechanisms. Beyond grace, I can even step into gratitude. That part of my brain is simply trying to keep me alive. While it missed the nuance of my surroundings it has clearly identified a potential threat and it is just looking out for me.

 

This is one of those awareness moments that helps us to process emotions and instinct. It is useful to realize why your body is having a panic reaction when you are simply trying to take a walk in the modern world. We live in a world that is frequently perceived by our primitive minds as threatening. The world has changed too fast to expect these instincts, that are potentially millions of years old, to adapt.

 

These every day experiences can lead us to stress and anxiety that we are not even aware of on a conscious level. But the subconscious concerns raised by our primitive mind are very real and our body reacts in a very real way. Over time it takes a toll on us mentally and physically.

 

This is why it has become crucial for us to remember to take down time. This is why we need moments in silence away from the threats of the newly developing world. Your reptile brain has no clue what to do with a pedestrian overpass, or a Facebook news feed, or a glowing display that you hold in front of your eyes for 10 hours a day to keep on top of your email. This is why your body keeps telling you to take a break. So we sit down and pull out our phones and take a break… Not what your body was asking for.

 

Since our minds won’t be able to evolve and adapt to the world we’ve brought them into, perhaps we need to evolve our patterns and habits to take into account what our primitive brain needs. You’ll be glad you did. After all, you are really just doing yourself a favor. Now turn off your phone and go play in the grass.

Namaste,

Kevin

 

Somebody Else’s Problem

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I was awoken to the sound of gushing water, it sounded like a geyser spraying out onto the road. My instincts kicked in, and I got out of bed and rushed to the window to see if I could identify the problem. I had heard this sound before at home, a broken sprinkler, but I was staying in someone else’s home. I got to the window and looked out, just as I suspected, a sprinkler head had broken off and was gushing out a geyser of water high into the air.

 

As I looked out and considered my options my logical brain awoke to meet up with my crisis brain. The mental conference call began.  I considered my options. As I assessed the situation I remembered that I was staying at my sister’s house and the sprinkler was on community property. There was no easy valve I could shut off. It wasn’t ‘my water’, it wasn’t even my sisters water. There was a home owners association to handle such a thing. In the middle of the night they wouldn’t even care. Nor did I have a way to reach them. I also reasoned that no one was being hurt by the geyser and that it could wait till morning. So really there was nothing I could do about it at the present moment. So I went back to bed. A few moments later I was fast asleep as the soothing sound of water splashing on pavement soothed my nerves and sent me off to dream land.

 

The remarkable thing about this story, to my mind, was my reaction of allowing it to not stress me. If it had been at my house, with my sprinkler I would have gone into a panic and rallied the troops (my dogs) we would have gone out and further assessed the situation. Gotten frustrated with the broken sprinkler, found a way to disable it, possibly have gone as far as fixing it (at 3am) and then spent the rest of the night agitated that I couldn’t sleep because I was so keyed up on adrenaline.

 

This to me was notable because in both cases it would have been mostly the same situation, but my perception of control and ownership would have caused me to escalate to a whole new level of alarm. My ability to handle the physical situation would have caused me to lose control of my mental situation. I can say this because I’ve been through it enough in the last few years to realize how I would have reacted, had I perceived the situation as “mine”.

 

Perhaps my stress reaction is just part of the  burden of ownership. It appears that I can handle situations just as well, if not better, if I perceive myself as being the assistant or an extra, instead of being the lead character. Allowing myself to become a supporting actor instead of the star of the show could actually enable me to live a more relaxed and burden free life.

 

Perhaps it will aid in my efforts not to be a control freak in other areas of my life… Well, maybe.

 

I read Hitchhiker’s Guide To the Galaxy, when I was in high school. One of my favorite parts was the S.E.P. field. There was a spaceship on earth parked right next to a large public area, but nobody was seeing it. The reasoning was, that it was hidden by an S.E.P. field (Somebody Else’s Problem). This distortion field caused the viewer to not see the ship when looking at it directly. You had to view it out of the corner of your eye. If you caught a glimpse and then tried to look at it directly it would simply disappear again.

 

I believe it is a valuable concept to apply to my life. I tend to take on everything that comes my way. I end up wasting a great deal of energy trying to deal with things I don’t even need to deal with. I need to learn when to apply an S.E.P. field, so I can see past these distractions to the things that actually matter.

 

Now, to learn the skill about when it’s appropriate to apply these fields and when to keep paying attention. I guess that’s a lesson for another time. Remember, don’t sweat the small stuff!

 

Namaste,

Kevin