Yearly Archives: 2013

Being aware of our Prejudices

Posted on by kgoodman

prejudice-words

The roots of prejudice are pre (as in before) and judge (as in to cast judgment). So to have a prejudice is to have made a judgment about someone or something before proper education on the person or topic.

There was a fishing boat slowly cruising along the waters of the Sacramento Delta. I say slowly simply because we were passing it in my commuter train going 75 down the train tracks. It was a Monday and I was on my long commute into the office. Being Monday my mind was working at finding ways to escape my current work, so it was an easy transition to imagine myself on the fishing boat instead of sitting on the train. My mind began to drift into the fantasy of living a life as a fishermain, out on the water. “I could be a fisherman”, I said boldly (and quietly) to myself. “I love fishing and I could figure out all the details and make a go of it!” I could get into that life wandering about on the water in search of fish.

At first I imagined that the fisherman was out on the water for pleasure, that this wasn’t realy his (or her) day job. That somehow I would still have the challenge of how to provide for my family. How would I make money in that world? It didn’t take long to come to the conclusion that I would sell my fish. At this point my mind took a sharp right turn as I abruptly thought to myself, “I don’t want to exploit our natural resources for personal profit. I wouldn’t want to be part of the problem of overfishing of our waters by selling fish for money!”

So there I was, moral high ground reached… But is that really how I feel?

I don’t mind letting others fish for me. I eat fish all the time and love it! If I truly felt that this was exploitation, then all I’ve done is removed myself one or two steps, I still exploit by proxy. If that is truly how I feel, that fishing is an exploitation of our natural resources, then I need to stop eating fish.

But I realized that as I went through this mental exercise of a derailed fantasy, that that is not how I feel.

I had never processed the discrepancies between my core beliefs and my adjunct beliefs. I believe in conservation, I believe in respecting the environment and treating it well. I also believe the materials on this earth are here for us to consume and utilize as needed for survival and thriving. Obviously we need to work at better stewardship than we are currently exhibiting. But we still need to work toward balance and thriving.

My unprocessed thoughts, caught in the gaps between these two ideas (conservation and consumption) had caused me to cast dispersions on the very group that I wanted to be a part of. I had cast judgment on all commercial fisherman as exploiters and people that didn’t care about the environment. And by connection I had even cast the shadow of prejudice over myself.

This whole mental process brought the idea of prejudice to the forefront of my mind. If it was so easy for me to cast judgment on myself in this way, how had I prejudged others?

It’s a lucky thing that I was there to stand up for myself (In my head) when I saw prejudice rear it’s ugly specter. But how many others aren’t so luck, as to be in my head, when I judge them, before I have meet them? What other thought processes suffered from dualism and conflicting ideas that hadn’t been reconciled against one another? How much of the world around me have I judged harshly or wrongly without having evidence?

When dealing with the world around you, it can be crucial to be aware of your prejudices. It’s possible that you’re prejudice will lead to the right conclusion. It’s possible that the mental image and expectations you have of individuals is spot on. It’s also possible that it’s a self fulfilling prophesy. As soon was you meet another and cast the specter of your prejudice over the interaction between you and them, that prejudice will actually inform how they behave around you. You may be bringing out the reaction you get from people because you expect them to behave that way. Allow for the people you meet to pleasantly surprise you. Try to approach the unknown without prejudice.

Namaste,

Kevin

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Due to the absence of government funding, there will be no post this week…

Posted on by kgoodman

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I had a hard time coming up with my post this week. I usually like to find something that’s wrong and spin a positive, or more appropriately constructive, view that can empower and uplift. But this week, I’m just finding things to complain about.

 

I got an email this week from the California Board of Equalization (they collect sales tax here in California for business sales). It was a friendly reminder that this was “National Customer Service Week” I couldn’t help but draw a connection to the government shutdown and how they’ve chosen to highlight National Customer Service week by providing no services.

 

So to buck the trend and despite my lack of government funding, I’ve decided to post this weeks update, free of charge. As a free services to the world.

 

The worlds problems are tough. There is, quite literally, a whole world of challenges and problems out there to be solved and be stymied by.

 

We could spend all day being blocked and worried and uncertain.

However, fear doesn’t make the world a better place. Uncertainty doesn’t solve problems.

Shutting down in order to get your own way doesn’t help anyone.

 

So this week, instead of shutting down, start up.

Instead of boycotting, girlcot… (I think that’s the opposite).

Keep moving forward, keep your chin up, and keep doing good.

 

Namaste,

 

Kevin

 

 

There is No Spoon

Posted on by kgoodman

(Quote from the Matrix)

Boy: Do not try and bend the spoon. That’s impossible. Instead only try to realize the truth.

Neo: What truth?

Boy: There is no spoon.

 

We all have ideas. Big, Small. Unique, Communal. Inclusive, Segregating.

Each idea we have builds on another and another and another. Before you know it you’ve gone from an idea, to a belief system. A belief system is a living mechanism an organic and organized entity created by you. It is a side effect of the natural human learning process of connecting ideas. You have built a network of ideas about yourself, about others, about what you are capable of and what is beyond your grasp. Some of your belief systems interlock with others and some stand by themselves, seldom used until the right circumstances arise.

 

There are two visuals that help when trying to think of belief systems. The first is a stack of blocks. Each block is an idea upon which another idea is supported. The foundation of the stack is required to support the other ideas above it. If you find a way to question a base idea then the belief system will fall apart. This represents a simple belief system. Most of our beliefs are more complex. An advanced belief system is more like a spiders web. Each connection point would hold another block of the belief system. They have, over time, become in interconnected web of ideas. You can challenge an individual block and remove it, but the web remains. Removing these belief systems are much more challenging because it requires overwhelming evidence that the system is faulty and an openness to change.

 

Whenever we come across a new idea we really have 3 ways in which we can process the idea:
1) Dismissal

2) Acceptance

3) Revolution

 

Dismissal is the easiest. It simply involves the rejection or denial of new information coming in. If a new idea comes in we can always find a means to dismiss it. This is almost a defense mechanism. The idea doesn’t make sense. The premise is faulty. We can even find ourselves dismissing ideas based on the quirks of the person presenting them to us. I didn’t like they way she looked at me. His shirt was a funny color. What’s up with that hair?

 

Acceptance is harder but easy enough if it supports one of our belief systems. When we process a new idea and believe it has merit, then we must bring it into the fold of our belief systems. This is process of adding it to the stack of a belief system that’s comparable with it and compatible.

 

Revolution is the hardest, nearly impossible, and cannot be approached directly. Process 3, Revolution, must be approached through process 2, Acceptance. We do not directly jump into revolution. But what happens when we accept a new idea, but we find it completely incompatible with one or more of our belief systems? We are again faced with Dismissal or Acceptance. If we dismiss the new idea we are back to our original safety net of ideas. But if we accept an idea, then have to begin the painful process of dismantling and rejecting the faulty belief system it is coming in to replace. But this can be done.

 

Some of our belief systems are so deeply ingrained the revolution seems impossible. But at the same time we feel and understand that many of our beliefs hold us back and have a negative impact on us and the world around us. We must continue the subtle work that lays before us. We must continue to find the ideas that hold us back and do us harm and accept the truth, there is no spoon.

Namaste,
Kevin

Recycled Life

Posted on by kgoodman

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I am pleased to report that this blog post has been created with 100 percent post consumer ideas.

It’s all been done. The ideas have all been thought up. The products have all been repackaged. The tools have all been repurposed.

Everything that we busy ourselves with day in and day out has been done before. Day in day out we spend our time on the timely. We focus our energy on meeting goals, measuring accomplishments, putting out personal fires and trying to make the grade. None of that amounts to much in the end.

Spend your time working on the timeless.

The only thing that you can do with your life, that hasn’t been done before, is live your life.

The only thing that is unique about your experience here is you. Your particular passion, your personal goals, your soul mission. Just to be clear I am speaking about your actual personal goals here, not that ones you’ve taken on because it seems like society wants you to.

Millions before you have already lived their lives. There is very little to show for it. The buildings from past civilizations are mostly all but gone. What does remain has lost context and the meaning it was meant to pass on.

The people that we remember from the past, are the people that lived passionately. Even the people that lived passionately and behaved terribly, are remembered now, for their passion. I’m not encouraging you the live terribly, but it is a way to be memorable. In many of the best cases, the remembered people were not living passionately in an effort to be remembered, they were living passionately in an effort to truly be alive.

If you are interested in bringing value and richness to your life, the only unique thing that you can do is to be yourself. Do recycle someone else’s life, live yours.

Namaste,

Kevin

RecycleRepassionwhite

 

Labels On The Moon

Posted on by kgoodman

labels-on-the-moon

We learn the label for a thing before we actually learn about the thing. Once we hear a label, we assume the label is the thing. So we encircle the thing without knowing the thing. The label is not the thing, it is just a label, by definition.

My daughter knows what the moon is. She can look up in the sky and say “look the moon”. But she is 3 and her depth of understanding of the moon is very limited. I can only imagine what she has constructed in her head to make sense of the moon. A flashlight in the sky that moves around? A big bright mirror? Where is the moon located in her mind? What is it made of?

Her understanding of celestial mechanics is limited. She doesn’t understand Newtonian motion. She doesn’t even comprehend how far away the moon is.

But she can point at the moon with joy and still enjoy it.

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It gives me pause, as I consider with superiority my understanding of the moon. I know what the moon is, I know the path it takes through the sky, I even understand a bit about Newtonian physics describing it’s motion. But to be fair, in the end, I mostly know a set of labels.

The moon is, on average, 240,000 miles away. I know this, but to say I comprehend is a strong statement. 240,000 miles! How do you wrap your head around that?

Also, I’ve never been to the moon. I’ve never even touched a moon rock. So to say I know what the moon is made of is presumptuous rather trusting on my part.

Yet, relative to my daughter, I feel I have a pretty strong grasp on this moon thing. But I really just know a lot of labels and concepts related to the moon. I don’t really know the moon.

Certainly not in the biblical sense.

Familiarity breeds false understanding. The more you use a label, the more your mind registers that label. It becomes mundane and “known”. But it can actually lead to a superficial level of understand that prevents us from reaching deeper understanding. We stop trying to learn about something, because we thing we already know. We’ve settled for a label.

In some ways this is a defense mechanism. The world is so large and complex. There are many things that are beyond our comprehension. Or in many cases they are beyond our need or desire to comprehend them. Everybody has an engine in their car, but they don’t all need to know how it works and how to repair it in order to benefit from it. So we label it “My Engine” and move on with life.

This is all fine and good when it comes to the trivial and the mundane. But what about when it impacts somebody else?

We apply labels that we don’t fully understand to people. We judge and think we understand why we are judging, because they have been labeled. But the label is not the person.

Some of these labels are “Gay”, “Retarded”, “Weird”, “Strange”. We tend to label people without understanding that they are people and they need love, compassion and true understanding, the same as you do.

I believe this is why ancient theistic culture forbade the speaking and writing if God’s name. For one could not know God or the mind of God and speaking his name caused the brain to register familiarity. Over time this lead to a person thinking perhaps they did know God. I think that is one of the problems with religion today, a lot of people in positions of power thinking they know God, and dictating to their followers what God wants.

The next time you think negatively about another person and judge them. Pause for a moment and consider, are you judging the person? Or are you labeling them and dismissing them because of what you think you know?

Namaste,

Kevin

Attachment, Patience and Perseverance

Posted on by kgoodman

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It had been about 18 years since I really sat down and watched Forrest Gump. I was all over it when the movie first came out. I saw it in the theaters and loved it. When it was released to video, VHS back in the day, I bought the movie and watched it several times. And then, I’d had enough. I got to a point where I didn’t want to see the movie again and couldn’t really stomach the idea of watching it again… So I didn’t.

Years have passed. Many years in fact, and I recently ate at Bubba Gump in Monterey, CA. I realized that it had been long enough and I wanted to watch the movie again. So I recently sat down and watched it and am happy to report I enjoyed it again. As you would expect there are several good life lessons to be taken away from the movie.

Lesson 1) Don’t get attached.

Don’t get attached to format. I’m pretty sure I threw out my VHS of Forrest Gump years ago. I was able to find it on TV and record it on my DVR and watch it in 3 or 4 sittings. There was a time when I couldn’t bare the idea of spreading a movie out to watch it. But now, with two kids and short times in which to watch a 2.5 hour movie, 3 tries is pretty darn good. But again, the format has changed dramatically over the years from VHS to DVD to DVR. Don’t get to attached to the medium, focus on the message.

Lasson 2) Patience

Forrest is a patient man. You could argue that he doesn’t know any better. But the same could be said for impatient people. Forrest was patient because he didn’t think he could force things to happen, and as a result he flowed through life. Many times we are impatient because we think we can force things to happen. But in the end we just flow through life too… It’s a question of how much we fight the current that we can measure our joy against. Patience and relaxing with the flow will improve your experience.

Lesson 3) Perseverance

I remember looking back at the movie that Forrest had a successful shrimping business… What I didn’t remember until I watched the movie again is that that success came with a lot of hard work and trial and error. He spent a great deal of time catching shoes and toilet seats and junk before he found success. You could argue that he wasn’t smart enough to give up… But often times we aren’t smart enough to keep going.

Perseverance combined with Patience and letting go of the format are a good recipe for life. Keep at it, success may come in a form you don’t suspect at a time you couldn’t have imagined after you’ve kept moving forward long after everyone else quit. And it may take a little longer than that. Be stupid enough to keep going and patient enough to enjoy the ride.

Namaste,

Kevin

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Your Time is Going to Come

Posted on by kgoodman

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I was sitting at a red light this morning. Stuck behind a car going straight that was blocking me from getting to my turn lane. The left turn light turned green, one car went, and I couldn’t move. The light turned yellow, and I couldn’t gun it to get through the intersection, I was blocked. The light turned red. And then the car in front me moved forward through it’s green light and I could finally get into the turn lane, stop, and wait for my turn. I was frustrated, I had missed my green light… Or had I?

It’s easy to get confused on our path in life about timing. We get excited about things that may happen, or things that should happen. But if things don’t happen, you can usually find there was a good reason. Sometimes that reason is simply that it wasn’t your time. I saw the light turn green and I wanted to go through, but it really wasn’t my turn, it was the other cars turn and I was getting ahead of myself.

There are once in a lifetime opportunities. When these come along we should make every effort to seize them. But most moments, the moments that we tend live each day in, are cyclical moments. These are moments that will come and go, and then come again.

It can be hard to recognize it, if we’re too wrapped up in our own experience, but it’s a privilege that we get to watch these moments unfold for others around us. Like the traffic light, it can be frustrating when you see someone else having their moment and you thought it was supposed to be yours.

Frank just got recognized by your boss in a big meeting for his good work on the last project. You worked on that project.

Sally just won a free car payment from her bank. You’re paying for a car too.

Alan just fell in love. You want to be loved.

But, these are not your moments, these are their moments.

Your time will come.

Like a traffic light, in  your life there are times when you have the green light, and there are times when you have the red light. Remember when a light turns red for you, that means it is green for someone. Except for at that stupid timed intersections where there are no cars going the other way and you just have to sit and wait. Those are just annoying. But that’s a metaphor for another time.

There are times when you see the light turn green and you’re still far away from the light. By the time you get to the light it’s turned red again. You can get frustrated with this, or you can remember, it was not your green light. It was not your time. But your time will come.

Today relax and embrace the cycles. If you see a moment come and go, reflect on the truth that it may not have been your moment at all. But if it was, and you missed it, relax in the knowledge that if you need it in your life, it will come back. You are whole, complete and cared for. Your time is going to come.

Namaste,

Kevin

 

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A Tree, A Rock, A Cloud

Posted on by kgoodman

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I remember reading a powerful short story in college, A Tree, A Rock A Cloud. I do not recall the name of the author. The story described a man that was trying to learn to love again. He had been hurt and was trying to start over. He found it very difficult to love and as a result was taking baby steps. He started by learning to love small things and moving up the chain. Naturally, based on the title he started with a tree, a rock, a cloud. Over time moving up to a crowd, and his ultimate goal was to be able to love a woman again.

As I’ve learned more about life and love over the years, I’ve begun to think he missed a step. I believe he should have started with himself. Once you love yourself and accept that you have worth and value, you can truly love others. Once you have practiced compassion and love for yourself then you will understand what is needed to practice compassion and love for others.

I think that love, when pushed outward, without first loving and accepting yourself, often does more harm that good. It sends a confusing message to the recipient. Tainted love, as it were, comes from a source that says “I will give you something that I am am unable to accept myself.”

Once you have learned to love yourself you can then radiate compassion and love that is a comfort to others. There is a natural and smooth progression that will then be easy to share with a tree, a rock, a cloud, a crowd and an individual. It can be freely accepted and transmitted without baggage to those around us.

Learning to love yourself is one or our life’s challenges and one of life’s great gifts. There are many practices that can help, but at the forefront are acceptance and compassion. Allow for the truth that you are worthy, valuable (priceless really) and a blessing to the universe. Practice endowing yourself with love and that love will radiate from you like the warmth of a star.

Namaste,

Kevin

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Walking The Path

Posted on by kgoodman

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On average, the average human being is not average.

There is really no such thing as an average person. We are all legendary, and we are all boring. We have moments of extraordinary exhibition. We have moments we would rather forget we were involved in. Even someone living an average life, has room and opportunity to excel and thrive.

When it comes to the path we have chosen in life, we often use that to define ourselves by labels. “I’m an Engineer”, or, “I’m a Pastor”, or, “I’m a receptionist”. You are not a label, you are the whole package. You are, “All that and a bag of chips” as colloquialism clarifies.

We in turn hear labels coming from other people and mentally pigeonhole, assuming that the label sum up the person. But these are only indications, glimpses of the fullness that comprises each of us.

The full definition of your person comes from and is defined by countless decisions you make each day as you walk your path. It is easy enough to see the path that lay ahead of you. Or to imagine the path that lay ahead of and behind another soul. However, there is a difference between knowing the path and walking the path.

Do not judge your neighbor until you have walked a mile in his shoes.

The challenge doesn’t lay in knowing the path, but in walking the path.

The truth about your life is, that there is more to you than meets the eye. You have depth and capabilities on standby for the occasion when they are needed. Walk your path with grace and compassion, for yourself and others.

Go do something extraordinary with your life.

Namaste,

Kevin

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Conceptual Spirituality

Posted on by kgoodman

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Remove words from your spiritual world and find peace.

Words are powerful, they take the intangible and make it concrete. Words are the translation of though into an encoded message of meaning. Words are expansive and words are limiting. Words save lives…words kill.

It is challenging, if not impossible, to remove words from our experience. I am sharing this concept through words. Words are crucial and fundamental to us. We train ourselves so well to use words that many thoughts can’t exist apart from words.

Emotions, experiences, feelings, these are all things we struggle to put into words. Often, once we do find a way to put an experience into words, we somehow comfort ourselves that we’ve captured it. This comfort leads to releasing the actual experience in favor of the simpler words. But the experience was the gem and the words are only a single facet of that gem, a glimpse of the moments true beauty.

We have to remember that words are just symbols, shadows of the ideas they represent. Without words there are still ideas. Without words there is still imagination. Without words we can live without limitations, in our minds.

Without a creative medium to export the ideas they remain locked in our heads. There are many mediums through which to share ideas, sculpture, drawing, interpretive dance. However, the most common currency of conceptual conveyance is conversation. Without words many ideas can’t go beyond our own minds. We are social creatures and as such a common means of sharing ideas was developed. We become liberated from our own minds. And shackled to the power of words.

So when it comes to spirituality it is interesting how heavily words are relied upon. When it comes to religion, we find the power of words driven to their fullest power. Wars have begun over disagreements in translation. Fought over perspectives on concepts from the ethereal laid out into words and deemed as different as good and evil. Millions have lost their lives in holy wars over a difference of interpretation regarding out divine spiritual nature.

So I invite you to release the power of words, if only for a few moments each day. Move into the silo of your higher thoughts, apart from words, and see the common threads that bind us all.

Remember next time you’re listening to someone talk, and their words ram into your mental boundaries, try to look past the words to the ideas. Reach into the deeper meaning. Forgive their potential heresy and love their abundant humanity.

Namaste,

Kevin

 

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