We are all laboring under the false impression that we are single minded. That we have a single driving force motivating us, thinking for us (with us?), watching out for us.

In truth we are a collective of minds with different goals and rules.

The old mind, is the seat of impulsive reaction and addiction. The place of animal instinct and gut feelings. It is often referred to as the Reptile Brain. This part of our mind can respond immediately to threats or temptations.

When we experience good things, winning a game of chance or catching the eye of a potential mate, dopamine is released into the brain causing the experience of pleasure. The resulting desire for more pleasure can lead to addictive behaviors.

Similarly, negative occurrences lead the old brain to try to avoid situations. The reptile brain recognizes when a bad situation is approaching and seeks to help us scurry away, to avoid recurrence of the bad thing. Always seeking pleasure and avoiding pain. This mind often has a mind of it’s own and we find ourselves subconsciously guided by it. When we do become consciously aware of its actions our attempt to override its desires can turn into a negotiation. This can be seen as an effort of will when the logical mind attempts to out maneuver the reptile through negotiation or subterfuge.

There is also the autonomic mind. The autonomic mind could be argued to be part of the old mind. This part of the mind keeps things running without you needing to think about it, automatically as it were. While you are reading this, the autonomic system is keeping your heart beating, your lungs breathing, your stomach digesting. This mind can run everything from the immune system to your digestive tract. It knows what needs to be done and does it. It is often difficult to even override the autonomic mind and decide to do something manually.

It is difficult to alter what the autonomic mind is doing. But it has a relatively easy time altering what you do. When your heart starts to fail, you don’t just get to override, it gets the attention of all your minds. When these automatic systems do interfere, it is usually in a big way. Suddenly nothing else gets done, while you work out how to resolve the problem with these systems, that we normally take for granted.

The new mind is the seat of logic and reason. It also encompasses pattern recognition and memory of things past. The new mind is the creator of ideas. Higher level emotions and reasoning come from the new mind. A combination of ideas from the past and imagination of what our future will hold, these are the constructs of the new mind.

Creativity is a benefit of the new mind, the ability to adapt and improvise. Coming up with a novel solution to a problem is where the new mind shines. This is where we most often analyze problems and think through moral issues and debates.

The observer mind could be argued to be simply a part of the ‘new mind’. However, when witnessing as the observer, it feels like a separate mind entirely. When in meditation, or simply practicing awareness, this observer is able to observe what is occurring in each of the aforementioned minds.

You can witness the transactions of the logical mind.

You can observe the reptile instincts as they jump into a defensive stance.

You can observe the autonomic mind as your breath flows stealthily in and out.

Our motivations, actions and influences aren’t always obvious. We frequently are not single minded. It can be very helpful, to take time each day, to learn to observe and note the subtle interplay of yourself with your self.

Remember to be graceful with your judgment and interplay as you observe your self.

When you just can’t seem to calm your monkey mind down, cut yourself some slack. Remember you have got a lot on your minds. Learn to relax and watch the show.

Namaste,

Kevin

What are you looking forward to?

At the time I’m writing this I am eagerly awaiting the registration time for the Google Developer conference. Registration opens at 7am sharp and tends to close at 7:00:05am

I got in 2 years ago when the tickets sold out in 5 minutes. Last year I missed as the tickets sold in less than a minute.

It’s a good conference. But there is a chance that I won’t enjoy the conference nearly as much as the challenge of getting a ticket.

By the time I publish this article I will either be profoundly elated that I was one of the chosen few, a statistical anomaly resulting from my effort, the speed of my internet connection and a roll of dice (metaphorically speaking). The joy and excitement is palpable.

One of the reasons that I’m able to enjoy this moment so much is that I have let go of the outcome. I am looking forward to the delight of getting a ticket while at the same time accepting that I am part of a large group of people excited about something where only a few will succeed.

Now I’m 30 minutes into the process of trying to get a ticket. Excitement waning.

There are many things in life like this. The excitement and anticipation far outweigh the actual experience. So it would seem to really benefit us to embrace the joy of the build up. Accept the excitement and potential of the upcoming moment without worrying about the outcome. Allow for joy in the face of uncertainty. And most of all remember it’s all part of elaborate game that we call life.

Namaste,

Kevin

P.S. – Still no ticket. 30 minutes of trying later. Attempts keep timing out.

Today I had to catch the 7am train. I pulled into my parking spot at 6:59. I understand it was my fault I was running late. Before I could hop on the train I had to pay for parking. So I went down the pay station. Two were available and there was only one person in front of me at each. Both apparently unfamiliar with computers and how to slide a credit card. The train was sitting impatiently on the other side of the tracks. I knew it could take off any moment… I wanted to scream “Don’t you know I’m in a hurry?”, but discretion won out and I waited patiently while they each started a second cumbersome transaction. Finally, one completed his transaction and headed toward the train. With the lightning speed that I imagined I moved, I began to tap the buttons and pay for my parking. Upon completion I headed quickly toward the train only to find a bottle neck of people waiting for the train gate to stop blinking and lift.

I made the train. And I realized that it felt like much ado about nothing… But the whole event was  quite a moment for observation of my monkey mind and my ego. My ego highlighted that I was the most important actor in this drama unfolding. Meanwhile my monkey mind was agitated and creating the drama which I then saw unfold. Looking back through the morning I can see the chain of events and decisions that lead to my arrival at the station at 6:59. I could see the interactions that each chained into the next causing my time line to occur at exactly that speed at which it did, no more, no less.

It is a powerful reminder of the way our minds work. These events could have lead me to feeling like a victom. I could have approached this with a “Why does this always happen to me attitude”. I could have approached it as a cornered warrior, lashing out at those perceived threats that were holding me back from victory over adversity.

Gratefully, I approached it, at least externally, with a calm, but eager resolve to achieve my goal. I have no traffic laws broken and no assault charges levied against me (as there were not assaults, verbal or otherwise). I have a moment for reflection instead of regret.

I am also pleased to report that the world would have kept rolling forward had I missed my train. But I am grateful that I didn’t.

Namaste,

Kevin

“This is how an idea becomes real.

But ideas are fragile things.

Most don’t make it long outside the ether from which they are pulled, kicking and screaming. That’s why people create with someone else.

Two minds can sometimes improve the odds of an ideas survival…” Saga by Brian K. Vaughan – Graphic Novel – Opening Narration

Working alone is brilliant. It’s a fantastic means of starting unfettered to move forward. But there are limits to it’s effectiveness.

There are two major concerns when working in isolation.

1) You don’t believe any of your great ideas could be real and they die before they take their first breath.

2) You believe all of your ideas are real and spend all your time trapped in your delusions without having a positive impact on the world.

This is where creating through partnership is fantastic. The use of a wise partner to work with and run ideas by is crucial to effective idea incubation.

Being able to choose the right ideas to grow and which ideas to let go of, can help so much in bringing your dreams into reality.

It is crucial that you pick the right person or group to work with on your ideas. Be shrewd in your choices. Some people will shoot down everything you suggest. Others will agree with everything. Both of these inputs are not valuable. Find people with like minded goals and motivations. Build relationships with people that cover your weaknesses and benefit from your strengths.

Find someone you can nurture your ideas with.

Find someone you can create with.

Find a community you can engage with.

If you can’t find a community of people that embody what you need, build one. Seek out the people that you need and that need you. You’re looking for a partnership. They are out there.

Remember you are awesome.

Go do something fantastic.

Namaste,

Kevin

Definition: Chaos – Behavior so unpredictable as to appear random, owing to great sensitivity to small changes in conditions.

Change is my Achilles heal.

I love change and I dread it.

Usually once things have changed, I find that change is not so bad. Typically, with change, I gain experience, and that leads to learning something. I love knowledge, so this is a big win for me. Which is why I love change.

Change also means that all the things I am used to and comfortable with might shift or simply go away. I love being comfortable with my environment and having an idea of what will happen next. So this is why I hate change.

Trapped in this duality between boredom and adrenal fatigue, I tend to oscillate back and forth between, alternately seeking out change and running away from change. As you can imagine, it is a rather frantic way to live and leads to a lot of energy spent for not much result. AKA, much ado about nothing…

There has been a pretty consistent history of this kind of behavior from me:

I want to go away to another state for college.

About 6 months into school, “I want to move back home”.

I want to get married.

About 6 days into the honeymoon, “I can’t believe I’m married”.

Let’s have kids.

About 6 months into fatherhood, “I don’t want to be a dad”.

Gratefully in all the above examples, and many others, I have managed to get the help I needed to stick it out. I found people that I could talk through the issues with and also allowed myself to go through the process knowing, “I have survived the past, odds are I will survive the future.”

In each case I’m grateful to say that the change has stuck. Though I still pinch myself some days when I realize I’m actually a Dad. “Who let that happen?”

I am delighted to report, as of this writing, that I have a brand new 5 day old baby boy. He was born healthy, weighing in as a considerable 10-lbs chunk. As my second child the change is slightly less dramatic/traumatic. But it’s still change and change is good/change is bad. I love/hate change.

I’m very excited to have a new baby boy. But the strain on the family as we all deal with this change has been tremendous.

Our 3-year-old got sick.

Our sleep cycles have all been disrupted.

Our Stamina has been tested to the limits.

He’s only 5 days old, what does the future hold?

The short answer: The future holds change.

What I am learning is that me stressing about things not going according to plan, doesn’t really change anything.

Ideally we would all enter into this miracle of birth at the peak of health.

Ideally we would find a rhythm with two children that would enable us to get full nights of sleep.

Ideally my schedule would return to normal and I could resume my normally roster of activities.

But that is not how chaos and change work.

Change requires us to become comfortable with the new and let go of the old. What you consider normal is what used to be normal. But by definition the old normal is now abnormal. You must come to terms with the new normal.

So my task, and yours if you choose to take it on, is to embrace change and the chaos that comes with it. I don’t know what will be required of me 5 minutes from now. I don’t know if I’ll be able to move forward with my plans for tomorrow. But I do know that everything will be okay.

I have survived the past, odds are I will survive the future.

Namaste,

Kevin

Oh Be Careful Little Eyes What You See

Oh Be Careful Little Ears What You Hear

For the father up above, is looking down with love

Oh Be Careful Little Eye What You See

These words came back to me this morning as I was considering my mental state.

When I was a child and sang this song, it always put a picture of a God much like Santa Claus in my mind. An overlord determined to catch every misstep and every mistake and write it down in a book for use in the future. Then, when the time of reckoning was upon you, Christmas or the Apocalypse, you would be called to account for your actions, or punished with fewer toys.

However, as these words came to me now, they are accompanied with higher wisdom.

“Consider your input.”

The benefits of the considering your mental diet is very important. With your food diet, if you put in healthy whole foods that haven’t been overly processed, covered with pesticides, genetically modified and denuded of nutrients, you benefit with improved health.

The more processed, contaminated, devoid of nutrients, a food is, the less good it will do for you and potentially even generate harm.

This is equally true with your information diet. By the time a story reaches us, through the news, it has been processed, spun, mangled, rewritten and usually has lost all truth and value. Stories can be spun to mesh with the goals of the storytellers or edited for short attention spans and sensationalism. Regardless of the reasons behind the alteration the results are identical, you’re consuming something that really isn’t good for you and may even be bad for you. We are being fed junk food information.

Consider your input.

I’ve been a little disheartened recently about the state of the world. There is a lot of negatives going on. Wars and posturing for wars.

People fighting over who gets the rights to destroy the planet, by ripping out the natural resources and selling them to the highest bidder.

Conflict over religions ideology.

People terrorized in their homes and schools and persecuted for their beliefs.

But I also see glimpses of hope.

More and more people are finding their own path to spirituality.

The sun keeps rising each morning (sometimes hidden in clouds, but it’s there).

People keep making a choice each day to help one another and make this world a better place, one person at a time.

The world is an amazing and beautiful place full of wonders and marvels.

Remember next time you’re fed, mass media wonder bread, that it’s not real food.

I don’t often quote the bible. But I do think, like all holy books, there are powerful nuggets of wisdom in there. This is one:

“…whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things” – Philippians 4:8

Consider your input. Be aware when it’s junk food. Focus on the good things to guide your path.

Namaste,

Kevin

We live in a world obsessed with comparison. We are constantly contrasting every item that comes into focus, trying to determine if it is better or worse than the alternative.

Comparison shopping

Comparison of ideas

Employee evaluations

Rate your experience on a scale of 1-10

We learn comparison at a very early age and then start to apply it to everything around us. It can be very beneficial to compare things. However, comparison goes down a dark path when we start to apply it to ourselves and people around us.

There will be times when you start to compare yourself to those around you.

“I’m taller than him.”

“I’m not as smart as that girl.”

“He’s better looking than me.”

The voice of comparison is strong and constant. It is a fundamental construct of our thinking process. It operates in the background on everything we look at.

There are times when you start comparing yourself to yourself.

“I used to be a faster runner.”

“I think I’ve lost weight”

“I can’t believe I used to believe that!”

There is a time and a place for review and reflection, but it is ALWAYS the right time for acceptance.

A vital skill in this world is acceptance.

Accept yourself as you are.

Accept others as they are.

Unconditionally embrace what is.

Don’t worry about what isn’t.

Release your obsession with judgment of yourself.  Express the grace that you need and are worthy of. You are exactly the way you are supposed to be. Break out of contrast and stepping into acceptance.

Namaste,

Kevin