Have you ever stopped and considered how your mind colors the world around you?
You have the ability to distill any situation into black and white, good and bad, agree and disagree.
It’s interesting to consider how our mental assumptions play into our interactions with others.
We tend to construct worlds in our heads of black and white.
It’s easy enough to understand why we do this.
It simplifies the world around us to consider a more straight forward scenario…
Is the light turned on or turned off?
The simplicity of a lit or unlit state.
On the analysis appears true, but it is often superficial and inaccurate.
What kind of light is it? (LED, fluorescent, a candle)
What spectrum of light is generated?
What color is the light?
What is the intensity of light?
And so on…
This colors our interactions with other people when it comes to our psychology of connection.
We tend to operate in one of two paradigms.
Either we believe ourselves to be part of the majority, aka everyone believes or behaves the same as we do.
We believe ourselves to be alone an isolated, nobody believes what we do, or nobody else has been through what we do.
Both of these lines or reasoning are common and pervasive, they can even be helpful in understand the situation.
They can also be harmful and frequently flat out wrong.
If you operate under the paradigm that everybody believes the way that you do, you operate under an unspoken justification that what you believe is right. culturally accepted behavior does not actually imply moral or just behavior. It simply implies that you won’t be judged harshly by another for the behavior.
Racism, sexism, agism, many ostracizing behaviors tend to be socially accepted, but in no way right or just.
Genocide has been culturally accepted and condoned in recent times, it certainly doesn’t make it right.
Alternately, if you operate under the paradigm that you’re all alone in your behavior and thinking, it doesn’t make it wrong. If you are judged harshly by someone around you for your behavior it doesn’t mean that you’re the only one with that behavior. In fact often the person judging you is seeing their own behavior in a mirror of your actions and judging you for something they despise in themselves. Not that it makes you feel much better about the judgement pronounced upon you.
There have been many people that have suffered and even given up and lost their lives through the harmful belief that they are all alone. The idea that you are alone is a frightening path that can lead to further isolation, guilt and a harmful downward spiral of self deprecation.
It’s time to start talking. It’s time to get the word out to the isolated people of the world that they are not alone. You could be the person that shares your story and saves the life of a lonely person afraid there is something wrong.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying everything is okay. I’m not saying all actions are good. I’m not saying that all of your behaviors are noble and justifiable. I am saying you are not alone.
I also understand that it makes sense to not talk about it. If you feel you are all alone, you can be afraid of the reactions of others. More to the point you may have tried to share your story in the past and been judged and ostracized. It may mean that you need to keep looking to find that people that will benefit from and resonate with your story. The search may be difficult. The path may be rough.
It is important to understand that your story may be a path to connection for someone dying of loneliness. Your story may be their salvation. You may be the lifeline to an individual desperately looking for hope.
Seek your niche.
Find your comfort zone.
Search out your tribe.
Share your world.