Category Archives: Mindfulness

Measuring Your Life Through Spiritual Impact

Posted on by kgoodman

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It is all too easy today to get distracted from your values and start measuring yourself with the wrong metrics.

When money is abundant in the economy, it seems like we are all measured by financial impact.

When money is scarce in the economy, it seems like we are all measured by financial impact.

It is all too easy to start picturing ourselves as piggy banks instead of spiritual beings. Whether you have money or not, there are things of more substance to measure yourself against. It doesn’t even matter if the world recognizes your effort, you will know.

You need to keep grounded in the metrics that reflect your values.

Take a moment to consider what you value. Now think for a moment on what metrics can be useful in measuring your impact within those values.

It is okay to value money. Money is simply a tool. Tools can be used for good and bad impact. Tools have value.

I absolutely value money, but I also find myself resentful of it. I work hard at getting money to take a back seat to my higher values.

I value spiritual growth. I nurture it in myself and I encourage it in others. It’s a big reason why I write and share with others. I love to communicate and share ideas with people. I also love to connect my daily experiences with my spiritual growth.

Spirituality is, in many ways, a tool. I have seen spirituality used for good and bad.

One of the most authentic pathways to spirituality is through personal empowerment. Reminding people of their inherent value gives them the confidence to trust their instincts and follow their intuitive path. Through self esteem, self discovery is enabled. As they walk the path, natural instincts will kick.

I have also seen people’s drive for a spiritual connection lead them down a path to communities that exploit them. These communities will take a person’s natural instinct and drive it toward the communities needs instead of the individuals needs.

Being a self actualized individual feeds communities in a natural way.

Telling people how they should be spiritual puts forth a false spirit. It isn’t as powerful and it doesn’t last when the external driving force is removed.

Ultimate spiritual drive and impact must come from with the individual.

I often get distracted from my own values and find that I am measuring myself against what others value. This miscalculation leads to a path where I don’t measure up. This is when I find that I am measuring my life by metrics that matter to others, but are not as important to me. My impact and my inherent value come more from authenticity than from mimicry. Try all I want, I will never be someone else. I can only excel at being me.

Finding ways to measure your spiritual impact can be valuable. But they can also be distracting. If you don’t know how to measure your impact, don’t worry, just follow your path. Be true to yourself. Don’t worry about metrics and measures. Living an authentic life will lead to spiritual impact that cannot always be measured, but can be felt. Relax into the flow of your life.

Namaste,

Kevin

Putting Forth Your Best

Posted on by kgoodman

It’s important in this life to do your best and let go of the results.

There are many challenges in both stages of the process.

Doing your best can be challenging because there are often expectations that we are somebody else. It’s important to remember that when you’re giving your best, it’s YOUR best, not someone else’s.

There is often confusion about what we bring to the table, and frequently that confusion comes from within us. Begin to understand your strengths and operate from within them. When operating from within your strengths you benefit everyone around you.

It can be difficult to manage expectations on two levels.

First, the people around you can often expect you to be exactly like themselves or someone else they are thinking of. It is very rare in life to find someone that expects you to be you.

Secondly, you have spent so much of your life with people expecting you to be someone else, that often you expect you to be someone else.

I know this sounds odd, but think about it for a few moments. When was the last time you were disappointed in yourself? Odds are that you were measuring yourself against a standard that may not even apply to you.

To find your true self and maintain that truth throughout your life is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. And by direct correlation you become a blessing and a gift to the world.

People being true to themselves and authentic change the world.

People trying to be someone else, simply blend into the crowd.

The next step is letting go of the results. Please bare in mind this does not mean apathy. This does not mean you no longer care about the outcome. This means you trust that you have done your best and that the ultimate outcome is beyond your control. Allow for success and allow for failure, but be secure in the fact that you have offered the world the most authentic you, that you have to offer.

Lastly, allow for this to evolve. As you learn more about your true self, the authentic you, your authentic offerings will likewise change and evolve.

This does not mean you are changing yourself, you are discovering yourself.

This does not mean you were false or wasteful with previous offerings, it simply means that you were in process.

We are all in process.

I believe that is the point of our life here. We should embrace the process discovery but let go of the expectations and timeline for results. Allow for you to become aware of you at a rate that is appropriate for you.

Namaste,

Kevin

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The Path Of Resistance

Posted on by kgoodman

I have always believed that things should flow organically in life. There is a natural rhythm to life and our path through it.

That doesn’t mean it’s easy, it does mean it should be fluid.

It is important to remember that organic things do some difficult work. Organic doesn’t mean easy. It implies that the process is natural.

I believe that when you find yourself hitting resistance, there are two potential reasons:

  • You’re going the wrong way
  • You’re going the right way

Understanding the difference can be subtle and frustrating. It can be especially frustrating resistance comes from your own team, the people that are closest to you.

Traveling the path of most resistance is frequently not the right answer. Sometimes you are simply headed in the wrong direction.

Other times you’re headed the right way, but on the wrong path.

Shortly after I had moved to California, I drove  up to San Francisco for a conference. I was not used to driving on busy city streets. Driving around in San Francisco can be challenging for those unfamiliar with one way streets. As I tried to find my way to the convention center I took a right turn, because I knew I needed to be somewhere in that direction. I was so disorientated though my sign reading skill had shut down. So I was ignoring the helpful signs pointing the other direction simply stating “One Way”. Not only did I turn and head the wrong direction but a massive dump truck being driven by a man who confidently knew he had the right of way, was headed straight at me. I quickly veered into a convenient driveway and waited for my racing heart to calm down. I was headed in the right direction, but on the wrong road.

I was soon able to find another road that was one way, in the direction I wanted to go, and I arrived safely at my conference.

Traveling the path of least resistance is frequently not the right answer. The easy thing, and the right thing, are not always the same. When you are first learning to ride a bike, the easy thing to do is to fall down get bruised and walk away. But it is certainly not the ideal thing to do. If you give up you’ll never reach the next stage, which is being able to ride a bike. You are up against a learning curve; However, Once you’ve mastered the basics of balance and learned to trust the bicycle, you’ve gained a powerful and fun life skill. You can get around a lot quicker now. Once you’ve learned how to balance the road opens up to you.

Traveling under your own power is so much more efficient on a bicycle.

As with all things in life, the path to success involves operating between two extremes. Finding the balance between “way too easy” and “way too hard”.

As you operate just beyond your zone of ease, your skills grow and your path unfolds. If things are too easy, you lose your edge and become lazy.

If things are too hard, you can’t even get started. It would be like trying to balance on a bike when you haven’t even learned to walk yet. You simply can’t make the leap and you give up. You’ve set your mark so high that you can’t even see it, let alone imagine how you could reach it.

The road to success is somewhere in the middle on the moderate path.

Remember when you run into resistance it can often be a sign that you’re on the right path.

Trust your instincts. Listen to your gut. Follow your heart. Stay sharp.

Namaste,

Kevin

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Insider Mindset – Own Your World

Posted on by kgoodman

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Ownership, of an activity, gives an interesting shift to experience. Ownership is powerful. If you feel ownership you care about the outcome. You don’t suffer the apathy of a spectator, you become a participant.

One of the keys to ownership is feeling like an insider.

Have you ever noticed in a good movie or book, that you care about the characters? Not just care, but actually identify with the characters and find a way that the story could be about you. Good storytelling takes time to introduce the characters and make them relatable.

I was watching the remake of Ocean’s Eleven, the other day. About 30 minutes into the movie a team of eleven people is assembled for a party to begin their scheme. I realized as the camera panned around the room, showing all the participants in the scheme, that I knew them all. They had taken the time to introduce each of the characters and I felt like I knew them, I was even comfortable in this group. It is a group of thieves, normally I am a little uncomfortable when surrounded by thieves, but the film had done a fantastic job of introducing each of the characters to me and making me care about what happened to them. I was invested. Regardless of the merit of their activity, I was an insider now, and I wanted them to succeed.

This is something a good manager does. Building up a good story and explaining it clearly to the team. When someone new joins a company or a team, it is important that they understand the motivation of the organization and the players involved. They need to be connected and emotionally invested.

Take a moment and look at your life.

Think about the activities that you own.

Where do you feel like an insider?

Where do you feel like an outsider?

Observe the differences between these two feelings and the results? Do you participate in more insider activities? Or outsider activities? Why?

In many ways being an insider is a choice. If you don’t feel like an insider you can point the finger of blame at the world. Often being an outside is a result of your own choice or perception of not fitting in.

Insiders are the game changers. They are the game makers. They are the backstage pass holders. They take the stage, while everyone else watches from the sidelines.

Shift your mindset. Remember, you hold the key. Find a way to become an insider. Own your world and begin to shape it.

You are the ultimate insider, nobody else is you!

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I would love to hear back on your epiphanies of ownership.

Namaste,

Kevin

You Cannot Run Out Of Time

Posted on by kgoodman

“You cannot run out of time. There is infinite Time. You are finite. Zathras is finite. This…is wrong tool” – Zathras (Babylon 5, 1996) – click for sound byte

Reminder to self, “time is abundant.”

I have been dropping things lately. The hypochondriac in me was beginning to think I might have some early onset neurological disorder. Then I started looking at when these things were happening, and I realized these occurrences are not coming from system failures, they are coming from my perception of scarcity.

I have been operating in an attitude of scarcity of time. Rushing from one thing to the next has lead me to a mindset of urgency and I have lost patience for the moment.

I could blame our culture. I could point the finger at my financial needs. I could even blame my iphone, always making me tap the screen to make sure I’m not missing anything.

But at the end if the day, blame is no resolution.

I am the one intimately impacted by my rush. I am the projector of the perception of lack.

My attitude of scarcity ripples out and impacts the world around me in so many unseen ways.

So I must remind myself, through grace and release, that “Time is Infinite”.

I love this cliche’ – Each moment is a gift, that’s why they call it the “Present”.

Namaste, Kevin

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Learning To Trust Again

Posted on by kgoodman

“Listen deeply with your heart, for your heart always knows the truth.” – Drunvalo Melchizedek

Trust is a difficult subject. Trust introduces risk. Risk introduces fear. Fear introduces paralysis.

These are the side effects of trust with expectations.

Trust is not a contract. Trust is not a guarantee of outcome. Trust is a gift.

Trust, in it’s purist form, combined with letting go of the outcome leads to freedom.

Trust encompasses many aspects of our being. One of the biggest challenges I have with trust is my ego. When I trust, I invest ego in the activity. I believe that my trust is a side effect of my insight, and the success of my insight bolsters my ego. So if my trust was misplaced and the outcome is not as promised, my ego takes the hit.

This usually results in me being offended, irritable and generally not the best person to be around.

But it doesn’t have to be this way.

Trust, to be fully realized and benefited from, must be given and released. The universe has its own plans for our path and the path of those around us.

No one knows for certain what the next moment holds, and mistakes will happen. Mistakes are the currency of the universe. They must be spent for progress to occur. If mistakes are not spent, the spiritual economy seizes up and stagnates.

Consider mistakes the lifeblood of your personal growth. Any healthy organism will frequently make mistakes in order to determine that pathway that succeeds.

So allowing for trust to occur you must also allow for mistakes, and in the process practice grace and compassion. Your trust was given as a gift.

This is especially true when you practice trust with yourself.

Practice compassion and grace on your own efforts. If we were to give up when a mistake happened and stop trusting our instincts, we would never become better at our lives. Every failure is a step forward to success.

Trust me.

Namaste,

Kevin

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Embrace Your Falling Leaves

Posted on by kgoodman

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I was talking to my neighbor this week as he worked on his front yard. He was complaining about the tree in his yard and how it kept dropping leaves onto his lawn.

Have you ever noticed how much easier it is to spot destructive behavior in others, than in yourself?

If I do something destructive that undermines my energy, I always have a ‘good’ reason. But when someone else does the same thing, I can usually spot it right away. I’ve complained many times about the leaves on my lawn. But it always seemed worth complaining, when I do it. Silly leaves. Upon reflection, silly me.

Destructive? Isn’t that a bit harsh?

Yes, in general I would agree. This is only a mildly destructive behavior. The real challenge comes in how you move forward.

Leaves have to be raked. The lawn needs to be managed. How do you approach it? Do you grit your teeth, steady your resolve, and muscle through it? Or do you accept the action and find the joy in the task?

It’s just plain silly to complain about falling leaves. And sillier still to let it impact your mood. But I’ve done it, and I do it, and I’m working on changing my reaction.

There are so many tasks in our lives that resemble falling leaves. Dirty dishes come to mind for me. I’m really not a fan of doing the dishes, but I really appreciate how the kitchen looks after their done. And I often find that, if I am grumpy when I’m doing the dishes, I’m much less happy with the results.

It takes me just as long to rake leaves grudgingly as it takes me to rake joyfully. But the results on my emotional health are completely different.

Try to identify the falling leaves in your life. The daily maintenance, the people interactions, the tedious tasks that once completed just need to be done again. Embrace these activities and learn from them.

All things change over time.

You may even find that you miss the leaves when their gone.

Though if I never had to wash another dirty dish, I think I would be okay.

Enjoy the time left in autumn!

Namaste, Kevin

Citta Vritti – Mind Chatter – Meditation Guide Part 6

Posted on by kgoodman

The Sanskrit term Citta Vritti (pronounced: CHITTA VRITTIE) can be translated to mean mind chatter, or modifications of the mind. Sanskrit is an ancient language from India.

Imagine for a moment that your mind is a vast ocean. On a calm day when the surface is flat you can see deeply into the ocean. But on a typical day with waves and weather and all manner of aquatic activity the surface of the water becomes turbulent and cloudy. Our thoughts disturb the surface of our mental ocean. Too much mind chatter keeps our mental energies on the surface and prevent us from seeing deeply and utilizing our inherent wisdom.

Turbulent waters lead to poor visibility.

This also represents the filters that our minds process information through. These filters prevent us from seeing the truth of a moment. We have learned to perceive the world around us through filters. These filters and both subtle and gross. They both aid and hinder us. It is the use of these filters that allows us to see one detail but completely miss another. Just like shifting the focus of your eyes allows you to see the mirror, or the reflections in the mirror. So too, shifting the attention of your mind, allows you to see the moment or your interpretation of the moment.

It is often through seeing only our interpretation of a moment, that the truth of the moment is lost.

One example of this is language. When we hear someone speaking we have trained our minds to recognize patterns in the inflection of sound and process that into words. These words are then translated into definitions. Our mind processes each word into analogous objects till a root definition is found that we relate to directly. The words form sentences as they are pieced together and the mind translates the sound waves into meanings.

The purpose of language is to teach people a common way of thinking. This has the positive impact of opening communication. Our automatic translation of sounds into meanings enables us to focus on the word and dismiss extraneous details. But the nuance of a moment can often be found in the discarded context.

Language is one of the more commonly studied and analyzed filters we have. But there are thousands. And they operate in a very similar fashion. Processing an experience and breaking it down into meanings that we can hold onto. In this same way we often discard the context and lose much of the moment.

A simple example of this can be seen in the experience of a rose. It is easy to see a rose, perhaps even appreciate it’s color and smell, but from the level of filters we have labeled it ‘rose’ and moved on from the actual experience of that rose. Rose is a word we know, therefore we have understood the rose and experienced it. So we move on. When in truth this rose is a unique entity. There are no two roses in the world alike. And this rose will soon pass from it’s moment of beauty, and fade and die. The experience of this individual rose can be lost in the process of filtering and labeling.

Many of our filters formed in the first few years of our life. We have automatic response mechanisms built into us that predate our earliest memories of childhood. Response patterns we established before we even learned to hold our heads up.

We don’t consciously remember the cause, or the need for these filters, but they are still there, working for us, and against us, through every moment of our lives. These filters provide context and insight informing our interpretation of each moment. They also cloud the moment overshadowing what is really happening with your ‘perception‘ of what is happening, interpreted relative to occurrences from years past.

One of the goals of meditation is to calm the fluctuations of the mind. Breathing exercises can be a simple and quick meditation that can help quiet your citta vritti and empower you.

Breathing Exercise

Shift your awareness to your breathing.
It can help to focus on a single point in your inhale and exhale.

Either visualize the air as it passes in and out through your nostrils.
Or monitor the expansion and contraction of the lungs.

Simply Observe your breath

Notice the air as it passes through your nostrils, into your body
Notice the air as it leaves through your nostrils, out of your body

Now take a deep inhale through your nostrils

Slowly inhale to the count of 10 (adjust the time as needed to account for your physical abilities)
Pause at the top of the breath and hold to the count of 3

Slowly and fully exhale through your mouth

Again exhaling to the full count of 10
Pause at the bottom of the exhale for a count of 3

Repeat about 6 times.
Then return to observing your breath

Namaste – Kevin

Escape words and experience your Spirituality

Posted on by kgoodman

Words Have Power

Words are powerful, potent and empowering.

Words are apocalyptic, enigmatic and imprisoning.

Words are the framework of civilization.

Words are a crutch holding up false beliefs.

Pause for a moment and consider words.

The words above, the words in your head, the words on your walls.

Each and every word has meaning and power.

The construction of words into sentences and crafting of documents could be likened unto artistry. The work of a fine sculptor will result in a sculpture that will be treasured for thousands of years. Likewise, the crafted word will linger and impact for centuries.

Words are ideas and ideas shift. Definitions are redefined. And everyone has a different dictionary built into their minds. So as words are employed the impact on the reader will shift with each individual and with each passing age.

Consider the simplicity of a rose.

The smallest of words. Plain. One syllable.

Yet the images and senses conjure up by the word ‘rose’, can hold wonderful beauty and fragrance.

The use of a word can unleash, in the listener’s mind, memories, and experiences. The use of the right words will engage the 5 primary senses and trigger experience, real or imagined.

Words can also serve to restrict and cheapen real experience. The actual wonder and depth of the experience can become lost in the translation to words.

Viewing a rose, you can experience its uniqueness, admire its color, curves and aroma. However, when it is translated to a word it becomes a label. In the act of labeling it goes from the unique to the general. From the one in a million, to one of many.

“That is a rose,” you say. You can label it, and dismiss it.

Many words have become overloaded with meaning and definition beyond the ability of the word to hold their object.

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Think about the words you use in your daily life.

Each time a word comes up your brain fires to recognize and apply meaning to that word. You think you heard what the other person said, but what you actually heard was their words filtered through your meanings.

While each person will have similarities in their definitions, it is truly a personal dictionary. In your mind words are defined with other words, images, education and your experiences.

I invite you today, to look beyond the words we use as filters for reality. Step into your actual experience and see what is really occurring, not what your words tell you it means.

I invite you to start a journal
Practice the use of words as the great liberator of thought.
Engage them to illuminate and expand the experience.
Practice awareness to avoid the pitfalls of labeling to avoid experiencing.
Use your words as a power tool on your spiritual pilgrimage.

Namaste,

Kevin

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Cut yourself some Slack

Posted on by kgoodman

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90 percent of pain is self induced.

 

It’s important to understand that most of what we experience in life is perspective and interpretation. The world around us often appears as we expect it to because we filter out what we don’t expect and focus in on what we do.

 

If you look for the good in someone you will find it.

If you look for the bad in someone you will find it.

 

Our perceptions of reality are often skewed one way or the other.

 

We very rarely see true reality.

 

Our egos get involved and muddle the interpretation. Often we view the world as if it were a mirror held in front of us. We simply see what we project out.

 

The thoughts we were having surrounding a moment, inform that moment. Our past interactions, with the people involved, further cloud the experience.

 

As we get older, if we don’t practice awareness, more and more layers build up from past interactions. We are no longer experiencing the present moment, but rather receiving the echoes of past experiences as they feed back into the current experience. Instead of experiencing the present, we can fall into a trap of reliving the past through the current moment.

 

The ideal resolution would be to truly experience the moment itself with filters and interpretations removed. This is true momentary awareness and an enlightened view of the world. And I am in favor of it. But I can’t always do it.

 

An alternative, which I try to practice given my base awareness that I can’t always practice presence, is to process the moment through positive filters.

 

As the saying goes, “You are seeing the world through rose colored glasses.” This old saying is often stated as a slam. It is intended to wake the person up that is living in a delusional world where they look at things too optimistically. Oddly, it’s frequently stated by people living in their own delusions, as we all tend to do.

 

I consider it a mindfulness practice. Applying this layer of thought to my input, helps me break lose from more negative patterns of thought. Encouraging myself to operate out of a foundation of abundance, where I  have plenty and can share with all.

 

There is one crucial piece of information to keep in mind when you’re working on this aspect of mindfulness.

 

Cut yourself some slack.

 

Often we are our own worst critics. Allow yourself to be filled with your own grace. This effort is both trivial and monumental. It can take moments and it can take a lifetime. Don’t be hard on yourself when working on yourself.

 

This awareness came to me recently when I realized how compassionate I was being to someone else about a problem. They had made a mistake and couldn’t let go of it. I was helping them through the problem and even encouraging them to release it. “These things happen, there is no need to beat yourself up over it.” I stated kindly to my friend in turmoil.

 

Later on, I realized that I had been much more gracious and compassionate to that friend than I was with myself. When the same thing had happened to me, I had assumed it was my fault. I had become mired down in dealing with my guilt for the situation and not allowed myself to release it and be forgiven. Surely I should allow for my self the grace that I would freely give another.

 

Likewise, these filters that we’ve been talking about are frequently applied when dealing with yourself. You judge yourself and your behavior based on this false expectation you setup. You establish a set of judgmental criteria against which you will surely fall short. Inappropriately divorcing yourself and your judgment of yourself from the actual experience.

 

As I stated at the beginning of this writing, “90 percent of pain is self induced.” We may also focus on the corollary; 90 percent of pleasure is self induced.

 

Take some time today to allow yourself to enjoy life. Stop to smell the roses. Fill your thoughts with grace and abundance. You are more than capable of handling the tasks that lay ahead.

Namaste

Kevin