90 percent of pain is self induced.

It’s important to understand that most of what we experience in life is perspective and interpretation. The world around us often appears as we expect it to because we filter out what we don’t expect and focus in on what we do.

If you look for the good in someone you will find it.

If you look for the bad in someone you will find it.

Our perceptions of reality are often skewed one way or the other.

We very rarely see true reality.

Our egos get involved and muddle the interpretation. Often we view the world as if it were a mirror held in front of us. We simply see what we project out.

The thoughts we were having surrounding a moment, inform that moment. Our past interactions, with the people involved, further cloud the experience.

As we get older, if we don’t practice awareness, more and more layers build up from past interactions. We are no longer experiencing the present moment, but rather receiving the echoes of past experiences as they feed back into the current experience. Instead of experiencing the present, we can fall into a trap of reliving the past through the current moment.

The ideal resolution would be to truly experience the moment itself with filters and interpretations removed. This is true momentary awareness and an enlightened view of the world. And I am in favor of it. But I can’t always do it.

An alternative, which I try to practice given my base awareness that I can’t always practice presence, is to process the moment through positive filters.

As the saying goes, “You are seeing the world through rose colored glasses.” This old saying is often stated as a slam. It is intended to wake the person up that is living in a delusional world where they look at things too optimistically. Oddly, it’s frequently stated by people living in their own delusions, as we all tend to do.

I consider it a mindfulness practice. Applying this layer of thought to my input, helps me break lose from more negative patterns of thought. Encouraging myself to operate out of a foundation of abundance, where I  have plenty and can share with all.

There is one crucial piece of information to keep in mind when you’re working on this aspect of mindfulness.

Cut yourself some slack.

Often we are our own worst critics. Allow yourself to be filled with your own grace. This effort is both trivial and monumental. It can take moments and it can take a lifetime. Don’t be hard on yourself when working on yourself.

This awareness came to me recently when I realized how compassionate I was being to someone else about a problem. They had made a mistake and couldn’t let go of it. I was helping them through the problem and even encouraging them to release it. “These things happen, there is no need to beat yourself up over it.” I stated kindly to my friend in turmoil.

Later on, I realized that I had been much more gracious and compassionate to that friend than I was with myself. When the same thing had happened to me, I had assumed it was my fault. I had become mired down in dealing with my guilt for the situation and not allowed myself to release it and be forgiven. Surely I should allow for my self the grace that I would freely give another.

Likewise, these filters that we’ve been talking about are frequently applied when dealing with yourself. You judge yourself and your behavior based on this false expectation you setup. You establish a set of judgmental criteria against which you will surely fall short. Inappropriately divorcing yourself and your judgment of yourself from the actual experience.

As I stated at the beginning of this writing, “90 percent of pain is self induced.” We may also focus on the corollary; 90 percent of pleasure is self induced.

Take some time today to allow yourself to enjoy life. Stop to smell the roses. Fill your thoughts with grace and abundance. You are more than capable of handling the tasks that lay ahead.

Namaste

Kevin

I have a mantra on the wall, above my work table. It states simply “In a world where you can be anything… Be Yourself.”

The wisdom is profound and simple.

The wisdom is often ignored.

We live in a world that is constantly telling us how we should act. We are repeatedly being told what our feelings should be on matters. We live a culture where individuality is both glamorized and criticized.

In school we are given placement tests and aptitude tests. Year after year, repeating the process over and over again. Measuring us against each other. Measuring us against some invisible bar of “What We Should Be”. These test are designed to see if we measure up and to test our scholastic ability. The process is repeated so many times we don’t realize it’s twisting our perception of achievement.

These tests try to determine how we measure up in math. Or to see if we excel in language. And our reward is a high test score and accolades… Or a low test score and a feeling of failure.

Recently I heard this put very eloquently. The reward for taking a French class isn’t an “A”. The reward shouldn’t be high test scores. The reward should be the ability to talk to people in French. It should be the ability to connect with people that speak French and make new friends.

When looking at aptitude tests, I always came out with high scores in Math and Science. I was told this meant I would be an engineer. I was a fairly agreeable child, so when I was told I would become an engineer, I took them seriously. I become an engineer.

I never compared notes with everyone else in in my class. But looking back, I wonder what kind of career list we were working with. Did someone ever come back with a result that stated “You will be a painter.”?

I don’t ever recall anyone anyone mentioning that their test results showed that they would be a spiritual mystic, or even a church pastor. My results certainly never stated “You will become a yoga teacher and spiritual guide.” There was no result that stated “some day you will write a story about these tests”.

Wouldn’t the impact on the world be profound if we could actually guide people toward professions that could key into aptitude and passion? Wouldn’t it be amazing if people got results like “You will be a fly fishing guide.”, “You will start your own company.”, or “You are best suited to write a blog.”?

Instead of being told you are best suited to be a cog in the gearbox of society, we could encourage people to strive for a life of passion and fulfillment.

You reap what you sew. I doubt the people that create standardized tests and piece together the options on the career lists are entirely fulfilled. Do you think when they were in grade school their tests responded with “You are best suited to make more of these tests.”?

I would love to hear someone results come back as: “You will stand in the middle of an open field embracing the new day and people will flock to you for your wisdom and insight.” Perhaps a little too poetic, perhaps not.

There is no proficiency test for greatness. There is no qualification exam for passion. Nobody else can tell you what you can and can not achieve.

But you can.

You can talk yourself out of pretty much anything if you’re not careful. The voice in your head may be constructed from messages outside of you in the past. But it’s you now. Own it. Or better yet, disown it. Identify it. Key into where it may be holding you back. Keep what you need and release what you don’t.

I would argue that it is your mission in life to tap into your core essence and find out what makes you tick. Find your passions, find your abilities, your true abilities. I don’t mean math and science. I am referring to your core essence. Tap into in, reveal it, utilize it and own it.

Don’t let anyone, including yourself, hold you back.

Unleash your potential.

Think of it as a puzzle. You are trying to get all the pieces to fit together. Maybe you haven’t even found all the puzzle pieces yet.

Here are a few books to help in your search for the edge pieces:
StrengthsFinder 2.0 – This test helped identify my character strengths. The book helps unpack what it means, but it can really help to have someone unpack it with you. I know some life coaches that are excellent at this, so please contact me if you’re interested in their contact information.
The 4-Hour Workweek – This book is great at stirring up your passion to break your work pattern and find what makes you tick and builds income

Picture a 200 carrot perfectly cut diamond. Now take that beautiful 200 carrot cut diamond, gorgeous and glittering in the sunshine, and dip it into a thick gooey mud puddle. Bake it in the sun for a few days, then take a look at it. Doesn’t look like a diamond any more, does it? But you know it is. You probably guarded the diamond day and night while it was baking, because you knew there was value in there.

Every person is a 200 carrot perfectly cut diamond covered in mud. Some of us have just spent more time polishing the surface and removing the dirt. Keep polishing and get ready to shine.

You are already great. Your work is to expose how great you are.

In a world where you can be anything… Be yourself.