Run, rabbit run. / Dig that hole, forget the sun, / And when at last the work is done / Don’t sit down it’s time to dig another one. – Pink Floyd – Breathe
There will always be something else that requires your attention. There will always be another hole to dig, another hill to climb.
Slow down.
Breathe.
Today find something in the world that you didn’t notice before.
Make a note that it is there. Observe it. Appreciate it. Don’t try to change it.
Namaste,
Kevin
I had the opportunity recently to walk over a pedestrian overpass. 3 feet thick and 12 feet wide, concrete and steel suspended over a sea of automobiles traveling 80+ miles per hour. The overpass was suspended about 20 feet over the Eight lane highway as I made my way across. It’s exhilarating and a really neat perspective that you don’t normally get on cars.
I could not stop myself from feeling a little anxious.
As I stood on the overpass trying to identify my angst, I realized that my logical brain and my primitive brain were fighting each other.
Logically I was surrounded in a fenced in cage. You can not jump out. You can not fall out. The concrete is not going to collapse. The walkway had survived many years and even many earthquakes. I was safe.
My primitive brain on the other hand was freaking out.
“There are cars coming right at you!”, my reptile brain stated urgently.
“They look like they are going really fast!”, it insisted.
“Could we just speed up a bit and get to the other side?”, it began to plead.
“Why the hell are you just standing there?”, my reptile brain implored.
It is interesting, that after all these years of evolution our primary instincts are pretty locked in. They haven’t really been able to make the shift into our modern life. As recently as 100 years ago this experience would have been unusual, or even impossible, cars were just starting to become common.
So on one level, it is crucial that I allow for grace when relating to these parts of my brain. I can realize that I’m dealing with outdated software and expired survival mechanisms. Beyond grace, I can even step into gratitude. That part of my brain is simply trying to keep me alive. While it missed the nuance of my surroundings it has clearly identified a potential threat and it is just looking out for me.
This is one of those awareness moments that helps us to process emotions and instinct. It is useful to realize why your body is having a panic reaction when you are simply trying to take a walk in the modern world. We live in a world that is frequently perceived by our primitive minds as threatening. The world has changed too fast to expect these instincts, that are potentially millions of years old, to adapt.
These every day experiences can lead us to stress and anxiety that we are not even aware of on a conscious level. But the subconscious concerns raised by our primitive mind are very real and our body reacts in a very real way. Over time it takes a toll on us mentally and physically.
This is why it has become crucial for us to remember to take down time. This is why we need moments in silence away from the threats of the newly developing world. Your reptile brain has no clue what to do with a pedestrian overpass, or a Facebook news feed, or a glowing display that you hold in front of your eyes for 10 hours a day to keep on top of your email. This is why your body keeps telling you to take a break. So we sit down and pull out our phones and take a break… Not what your body was asking for.
Since our minds won’t be able to evolve and adapt to the world we’ve brought them into, perhaps we need to evolve our patterns and habits to take into account what our primitive brain needs. You’ll be glad you did. After all, you are really just doing yourself a favor. Now turn off your phone and go play in the grass.
Namaste,
Kevin
I was awoken to the sound of gushing water, it sounded like a geyser spraying out onto the road. My instincts kicked in, and I got out of bed and rushed to the window to see if I could identify the problem. I had heard this sound before at home, a broken sprinkler, but I was staying in someone else’s home. I got to the window and looked out, just as I suspected, a sprinkler head had broken off and was gushing out a geyser of water high into the air.
As I looked out and considered my options my logical brain awoke to meet up with my crisis brain. The mental conference call began. I considered my options. As I assessed the situation I remembered that I was staying at my sister’s house and the sprinkler was on community property. There was no easy valve I could shut off. It wasn’t ‘my water’, it wasn’t even my sisters water. There was a home owners association to handle such a thing. In the middle of the night they wouldn’t even care. Nor did I have a way to reach them. I also reasoned that no one was being hurt by the geyser and that it could wait till morning. So really there was nothing I could do about it at the present moment. So I went back to bed. A few moments later I was fast asleep as the soothing sound of water splashing on pavement soothed my nerves and sent me off to dream land.
The remarkable thing about this story, to my mind, was my reaction of allowing it to not stress me. If it had been at my house, with my sprinkler I would have gone into a panic and rallied the troops (my dogs) we would have gone out and further assessed the situation. Gotten frustrated with the broken sprinkler, found a way to disable it, possibly have gone as far as fixing it (at 3am) and then spent the rest of the night agitated that I couldn’t sleep because I was so keyed up on adrenaline.
This to me was notable because in both cases it would have been mostly the same situation, but my perception of control and ownership would have caused me to escalate to a whole new level of alarm. My ability to handle the physical situation would have caused me to lose control of my mental situation. I can say this because I’ve been through it enough in the last few years to realize how I would have reacted, had I perceived the situation as “mine”.
Perhaps my stress reaction is just part of the burden of ownership. It appears that I can handle situations just as well, if not better, if I perceive myself as being the assistant or an extra, instead of being the lead character. Allowing myself to become a supporting actor instead of the star of the show could actually enable me to live a more relaxed and burden free life.
Perhaps it will aid in my efforts not to be a control freak in other areas of my life… Well, maybe.
I read Hitchhiker’s Guide To the Galaxy, when I was in high school. One of my favorite parts was the S.E.P. field. There was a spaceship on earth parked right next to a large public area, but nobody was seeing it. The reasoning was, that it was hidden by an S.E.P. field (Somebody Else’s Problem). This distortion field caused the viewer to not see the ship when looking at it directly. You had to view it out of the corner of your eye. If you caught a glimpse and then tried to look at it directly it would simply disappear again.
I believe it is a valuable concept to apply to my life. I tend to take on everything that comes my way. I end up wasting a great deal of energy trying to deal with things I don’t even need to deal with. I need to learn when to apply an S.E.P. field, so I can see past these distractions to the things that actually matter.
Now, to learn the skill about when it’s appropriate to apply these fields and when to keep paying attention. I guess that’s a lesson for another time. Remember, don’t sweat the small stuff!
Namaste,
Kevin
Growing up is difficult.
I recently heard my wife explain to my daughter that she was too big to do something. At the age of 3 this can be difficult to understand. She remembers enjoying laying in a baby’s bouncy seat and just bouncing. However, the cloth structure is meant for a 15 lbs infant, not a 30 lbs. 3-year-old that wants a trampoline!
I recall often during my adolescence hearing “because you’re too small” or “because you’re too big”. It’s frustrating not being able to do what I used to do, and not being able to do what the adults are doing. When you are too short to ride the roller coaster or go on the water slide, and everyone around you appears to be ready but you.
We often think the process of growing up stops when we reach adult size. But all too often we find that we can’t do what we used to do, for one reason or another. Even worse, there are other things we still can’t do yet, and may never be able to do.
I can’t run off on a luxury cruise to the Bahamas today, that requires a little more planning and budget. I can’t spend the first day of summer vacation riding my bike down the park with my friends. Which reminds me, why did we agree to give up summer vacations when we become adults? I think adults need them more than kids do!
Regardless of where you are in life, it’s important to embrace the joy of what you can and not worry about the outliers. There will always be things you’ve outgrown and things you aren’t up for yet. Don’t lose site of the wonder of the day by introducing the dissatisfaction engendered by the things you cannot do. Instead explore the possibilities and wonder of what you can do today.
Try not to worry about your perceived boundaries. There are a lot of advantages to being exactly who you are, where you are, and the size you are. You’re kind perfect right now. Enjoy.
Namaste,
Kevin
No man is an island. – John Donne
You are the change you wish to see in the world, and you’re not alone. You are part of the community of change.
It is easy to feel lost of the sea of bad news and apathy that surrounds us.
It’s easy to take comments from ‘friends’ that you’re fighting a losing battle, as implication of defeat.
It’s easy to give up and flow with the path the world seems hell bent on traveling.
But our path is not easy. We are performing the work of passion. We are engaged in reviving the organic life. We are transitioning from survival, to a life where we thrive.
So, in this journey, it comes as a huge comfort, that we are not alone.
You are surrounded by love and support for your activity. The very Universe wants you to succeed, and so do I.
So with this in mind, don’t try to do everything. Instead, do what you are best at. Find the authentic you and Embrace it, Live it, Share it.
Take comfort in the fact that you are not alone and don’t have to achieve alone.
Keep striving, keep learning, keep growing. We’ve got your back!
“People wish to be settled; only as far as they are unsettled is there any hope for them.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Namaste,
Kevin
My house is half packed.
I’ve sold or given away about 10 percent of my possessions.
The major change is still yet to come.
We’re moving, selling our house and moving to another city a few hours away.
Saying goodbye to so many people. Saying hello to so many new opportunities.
The movers come in two days, on Friday, to help pack up what we haven’t already. Which is a lot.
From the perspective of someone writing about awareness and change, there are so many themes and ideas at play. So much in flux. So much that will make sense, after the fact. Only after the change, can you understand the change.
Home
Letting go of the house we have lived in for 6 years is difficult.
Both of our children were born, right here in the living room.
We built garden beds, constructed a shed, planted fruit trees. We made this house a home. Now we’re making this home a house.
Letting go
So much time spent gathering things. So many things taking up so much mental space that you don’t even realize they are all there, till you sit down and analyze whether you need the thing… Upon full reflection you realize it is just a thing. Let it go.
I am not a pack rat. I’ve seen what pack rats do. Maybe I’m a pack mouse, a smaller scale pack rat.
In many ways it is easier to throw something away than it is to sell it. The garage sale was an exercise in frustration. Don’t they know my stuff has value? Don’t they know the care I put in to collecting those things? To have someone turn up their nose at an item when you ask 1 dollar for it… Well, it’s insulting. My stuff is precious… But in the end you realize, it’s just stuff.
Let go.
It is a good practice to allow things to flow away from you. Hold on too tightly and your hands will be full when what you really need floats by.
Practice letting go in order to be open to what you need next.
Situational Compassion
It’s easy to be cranky when you’re under this much stress. You pull inside and get defensive because you only have so much energy to go around. “Don’t they know that I’m already overstretched?!!”
It’s easy to lose sight of the fact that we are all in this together.
Remember, what you are going through, so are the people around you. My wife, my children, they are all experiencing the same level of stress and tension that I am.
If we lift each other up during this time, then we’ll all come out with our heads a little higher. It’s easy to think you’re alone when the schedule has your back against the wall.
Remember to practice extending that which you need and you can look for it reflected in others around you.
It’s easy to make mistakes. Release the errors in judgment. Take a breath. Share a hug. Reset. Be the compassionate person you are.
Transition
When you experience a transition, remember to mourn.
You are losing something and loss generates grief. You don’t need to feel guilty for experiencing grief. Sure, there are other people experiencing “real” loss, Death, Marriage disruption, breakups. It’s easy to think of 100 different things that would be worth grieving over… But not your transition.
Why not your transition?
Don’t belittle your experience.
Don’t downplay the experience of now.
Don’t undermine the value of your emotion.
What you are experiencing is real and present.
Be with your grief. Experience you transition in its fullness.
Only then can you let go and be open to what’s coming next.
What’s coming next is going to be wonderful.
But remember it’s also going to the same.
Wherever you go, there you are.
Namaste,
Kevin
It is all too easy today to get distracted from your values and start measuring yourself with the wrong metrics.
When money is abundant in the economy, it seems like we are all measured by financial impact.
When money is scarce in the economy, it seems like we are all measured by financial impact.
It is all too easy to start picturing ourselves as piggy banks instead of spiritual beings. Whether you have money or not, there are things of more substance to measure yourself against. It doesn’t even matter if the world recognizes your effort, you will know.
You need to keep grounded in the metrics that reflect your values.
Take a moment to consider what you value. Now think for a moment on what metrics can be useful in measuring your impact within those values.
It is okay to value money. Money is simply a tool. Tools can be used for good and bad impact. Tools have value.
I absolutely value money, but I also find myself resentful of it. I work hard at getting money to take a back seat to my higher values.
I value spiritual growth. I nurture it in myself and I encourage it in others. It’s a big reason why I write and share with others. I love to communicate and share ideas with people. I also love to connect my daily experiences with my spiritual growth.
Spirituality is, in many ways, a tool. I have seen spirituality used for good and bad.
One of the most authentic pathways to spirituality is through personal empowerment. Reminding people of their inherent value gives them the confidence to trust their instincts and follow their intuitive path. Through self esteem, self discovery is enabled. As they walk the path, natural instincts will kick.
I have also seen people’s drive for a spiritual connection lead them down a path to communities that exploit them. These communities will take a person’s natural instinct and drive it toward the communities needs instead of the individuals needs.
Being a self actualized individual feeds communities in a natural way.
Telling people how they should be spiritual puts forth a false spirit. It isn’t as powerful and it doesn’t last when the external driving force is removed.
Ultimate spiritual drive and impact must come from with the individual.
I often get distracted from my own values and find that I am measuring myself against what others value. This miscalculation leads to a path where I don’t measure up. This is when I find that I am measuring my life by metrics that matter to others, but are not as important to me. My impact and my inherent value come more from authenticity than from mimicry. Try all I want, I will never be someone else. I can only excel at being me.
Finding ways to measure your spiritual impact can be valuable. But they can also be distracting. If you don’t know how to measure your impact, don’t worry, just follow your path. Be true to yourself. Don’t worry about metrics and measures. Living an authentic life will lead to spiritual impact that cannot always be measured, but can be felt. Relax into the flow of your life.
Namaste,
Kevin
It’s important in this life to do your best and let go of the results.
There are many challenges in both stages of the process.
Doing your best can be challenging because there are often expectations that we are somebody else. It’s important to remember that when you’re giving your best, it’s YOUR best, not someone else’s.
There is often confusion about what we bring to the table, and frequently that confusion comes from within us. Begin to understand your strengths and operate from within them. When operating from within your strengths you benefit everyone around you.
It can be difficult to manage expectations on two levels.
First, the people around you can often expect you to be exactly like themselves or someone else they are thinking of. It is very rare in life to find someone that expects you to be you.
Secondly, you have spent so much of your life with people expecting you to be someone else, that often you expect you to be someone else.
I know this sounds odd, but think about it for a few moments. When was the last time you were disappointed in yourself? Odds are that you were measuring yourself against a standard that may not even apply to you.
To find your true self and maintain that truth throughout your life is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. And by direct correlation you become a blessing and a gift to the world.
People being true to themselves and authentic change the world.
People trying to be someone else, simply blend into the crowd.
The next step is letting go of the results. Please bare in mind this does not mean apathy. This does not mean you no longer care about the outcome. This means you trust that you have done your best and that the ultimate outcome is beyond your control. Allow for success and allow for failure, but be secure in the fact that you have offered the world the most authentic you, that you have to offer.
Lastly, allow for this to evolve. As you learn more about your true self, the authentic you, your authentic offerings will likewise change and evolve.
This does not mean you are changing yourself, you are discovering yourself.
This does not mean you were false or wasteful with previous offerings, it simply means that you were in process.
We are all in process.
I believe that is the point of our life here. We should embrace the process discovery but let go of the expectations and timeline for results. Allow for you to become aware of you at a rate that is appropriate for you.
Namaste,
Kevin
I have always believed that things should flow organically in life. There is a natural rhythm to life and our path through it.
That doesn’t mean it’s easy, it does mean it should be fluid.
It is important to remember that organic things do some difficult work. Organic doesn’t mean easy. It implies that the process is natural.
I believe that when you find yourself hitting resistance, there are two potential reasons:
Understanding the difference can be subtle and frustrating. It can be especially frustrating resistance comes from your own team, the people that are closest to you.
Traveling the path of most resistance is frequently not the right answer. Sometimes you are simply headed in the wrong direction.
Other times you’re headed the right way, but on the wrong path.
Shortly after I had moved to California, I drove up to San Francisco for a conference. I was not used to driving on busy city streets. Driving around in San Francisco can be challenging for those unfamiliar with one way streets. As I tried to find my way to the convention center I took a right turn, because I knew I needed to be somewhere in that direction. I was so disorientated though my sign reading skill had shut down. So I was ignoring the helpful signs pointing the other direction simply stating “One Way”. Not only did I turn and head the wrong direction but a massive dump truck being driven by a man who confidently knew he had the right of way, was headed straight at me. I quickly veered into a convenient driveway and waited for my racing heart to calm down. I was headed in the right direction, but on the wrong road.
I was soon able to find another road that was one way, in the direction I wanted to go, and I arrived safely at my conference.
Traveling the path of least resistance is frequently not the right answer. The easy thing, and the right thing, are not always the same. When you are first learning to ride a bike, the easy thing to do is to fall down get bruised and walk away. But it is certainly not the ideal thing to do. If you give up you’ll never reach the next stage, which is being able to ride a bike. You are up against a learning curve; However, Once you’ve mastered the basics of balance and learned to trust the bicycle, you’ve gained a powerful and fun life skill. You can get around a lot quicker now. Once you’ve learned how to balance the road opens up to you.
Traveling under your own power is so much more efficient on a bicycle.
As with all things in life, the path to success involves operating between two extremes. Finding the balance between “way too easy” and “way too hard”.
As you operate just beyond your zone of ease, your skills grow and your path unfolds. If things are too easy, you lose your edge and become lazy.
If things are too hard, you can’t even get started. It would be like trying to balance on a bike when you haven’t even learned to walk yet. You simply can’t make the leap and you give up. You’ve set your mark so high that you can’t even see it, let alone imagine how you could reach it.
The road to success is somewhere in the middle on the moderate path.
Remember when you run into resistance it can often be a sign that you’re on the right path.
Trust your instincts. Listen to your gut. Follow your heart. Stay sharp.
Namaste,
Kevin
I’ve just started keeping bees this year. I’ve learned quite a bit in my studies leading up to my first hive. But I’ve only had my bees now for 2 weeks. It’s amazing to observe their behavior and learn about how a hive operates.
The most recent epiphany in my study of bees comes in relation to a bee swarm.
To begin with, most people freak out at the idea of seeing a giant ball of bees on a tree. It turns out that bees in a swarm are very docile. They don’t have a home to protect. They are huddled around the queen waiting for the scouts to report back that they’ve found a new home.
As part of this swarming and leaving their home and safety they take as much food with them as they can, so they fill their bellies with honey from the old hive. When a bee has a full belly, it makes it very hard for them to sting, because they can’t bend their abdomens. So a bee with a full belly is much less likely to sting you.
But the thing that amazed me most about bees is the story behind the swarm.
When a hive starts to get crowded and there isn’t enough space for all the bees to keep growing and thrive, the queen bee in collaboration with the workers, starts growing a new queen. When the new queen is about to hatch, the existing queen takes about half the bees with her and leaves the hive in search of a new home.
The old queen doesn’t know if their search will succeed, she doesn’t know where they will end up. She’s leaving her home and her honey stores behind for the new queen and the remainder of the hive.
This is equivalent to your parents leaving their house and possessions to you when you graduate college. Then picture your parents heading off to find a new home and start over. Can you imagine?
So when you see a bee swarm, remember the sacrifice this represents. Giving up their home, their safety and risking everything for the benefit of their family.
Namaste,
Kevin