Image courtesy of www.fanpop.com

My heart is heavy this week, a man to whom I had great affection has died. I never met this man, I have never even seen him on the street, but he shared worlds with me. And he made me laugh, oh how he made me laugh. He made me uncomfortable with truths that I tried to ignore. He made me look at the world in a new way, to see beyond the mundane to the magnificent. He made me laugh and he made me cry. Each story he told stretched me and expanded my worldview as he showed the greatest heights of our whimsy and the deepest depths of our pain.

But his last story, I can’t quite figure out yet. What is the message? What is he trying to say?

I don’t know Robin Williams story. Yes, I’ve seen documentaries and heard about him, but I don’t know him. I don’t know what happened to him or what caused him so much pain. I know that his death is a tragic loss to us all. I know that if he had died of a health complication or in some sort of unfortunate accident, I would feel a loss, but not like this. I know that because he died of suicide my feelings are different, my feelings are stronger, and some of those feelings may be guilt.

Guilt seems like an odd reaction to the suicide death of a man you’ve never met. But I think what I’m feeling is a cultural wide phenomenon. It’s part of the reason that Robin Williams death has caught up so many people. We feel guilty because we support a culture that can leave people so isolated. We are part of the system that enabled Robin Williams to die alone and scared. We laughed and laughed while deep down in Robin there was pain and an emptiness that comes from depression. This must have been a very deep level of depression for it to end like this. And all the while, we laughed and smiled and thought it was all in fun.

I think that we need to take a deep look into the world that we are creating. I think that we need to spend more time developing communities of meaning and less developing shallow relationships of transience. And I think we need to keep on laughing. There is a problem in our culture that needs to be directed to a better more positive model for society. I don’t have a full answer for how to resolve this. But I believe that our loss of Robin Williams and the way it has shocked our culture implies a moment of awareness that something is off kilter and needs to be resolved.

But I also don’t think that the end of laughter would solve anything. I don’t think Robin Williams would have wanted it to end that way. I don’t think that we should consider for one moment that his work was all a lie. It wasn’t. It was sincere and solid and a reflection of a whimsical soul that enjoyed making people smile and laugh out loud.

There is work to be done. This is a time for personal and cultural reflection. And we must consider the direction we are going and the course correction that must be made.

Above all. Keep On Laughing.

Thank you Robin Williams for all you gave. I’m sorry we have lost you, but I’m so glad that you shared your life with us.

Namaste,

Kevin

Image courtesy of www.fanpop.com

With Christmas soon upon us I find it appropriate that my latest epiphany regards belief.

From belief in the goodness of mankind to belief in Santa Claus, we live in a world built upon belief. The world around us tends to shape itself to match our beliefs. If we believe the world is a good place, we tend to see the good around us. If we believe the world is a bad place, we tend to see only the bad. Our beliefs manifest themselves to us through our focused attention.

Sometimes when I put my daughter into her car seat (almost 3 years old), she kicks and screams and struggles to avoid being buckled in. There is some incongruity between the action, putting my daughter in her car seat to keep her safe while we travel, and the response, being affronted that we would require that she must sit down and be buckled in. It is like she doesn’t understand that we have her best interests at heart. We are trying to keep her safe. She has her own ideas about what is supposed to happen next.

I realize, after some soul searching, that she may have picked up this behavior from me. I tend to react the same way to the universe. Instead of flowing with my life and allowing for what will come next, I tend to kick and fight and struggle, trying to change the outcome. I have my own opinions about what is supposed to happen next. When reality disagrees with me, instead of peacefully allowing for the change in plans, I tend to stiffen my back, grit my teeth, and bare down for a fight.

This all comes down to two beliefs that I’m working on.

One that I’m trying to strengthen and another that I’m trying to let go of.

The first belief, is the most beneficial, the belief that the universe has my best interests at heart.

If I truly embraced and accepted this I would relax, release and allow myself to be buckled in for safety.

Instead I tend to fight and kick and believe that I know better and that I can control what comes next.

It is this second belief. The illusion of control, that I am working on releasing. Don’t get my wrong, I have a great deal of control over the superficial. I can choose what to wear and what I will eat for lunch and whether to go into work on any given day. But when it comes to the really important things in life, I am simply a co-creator. I am involved and I am affected, but I am not in control. Releasing that perceived control and relaxing is such a blessing, when I remember to do it.

This holiday season reflect on your beliefs. I encourage you to focus in on the beliefs that are empowering you, and release the beliefs that are holding you back.

And regardless of what you believe, how you worship, or how you choose to experience the sacred – I wish you all a Merry Christmas!

Namaste, Kevin