Trying to Walk Backwards

young woman looking back walking on a forest

Have you ever seen The Curious Case of Benjamin ButtonIt’s an interesting story about a man who ages backwards. He is born As a withered, shriveled, old, decrepit man. As he ages his health slowly improves and his body becomes younger and younger.

It’s a very… well, curious story, based on a short story by F Scott Fitzgerald. I’ve always found the idea intriguing. How would your life be different if you aged in reverse? How would it impact your behavior if you knew your best health was yet to come?

I’ve often considered, as I’m now several years that other side of 40, that life is a process of learning, followed by a process of unlearning. Meaning that we spend a large part of our early years making logical leap, filling in gaps with assumptions and believing what we are told. As our knowledge becomes more well rounded and complete we begin to identify these gaps/errors/falsehoods.

In engineering terms you could say your thought processes were standing on a bridge that had been laid out with good intentions. But upon further inspection you find that the bridge has no supports under it and if the slightest bit of pressure is put on the bridge, also known as the idea, that idea will collapse and leave you at the bottom of the ditch. Philosophically speaking.

So the second part of your life tends to be a process of trying to walk backwards.

Similarly to trying to undo a tangle of rope, or in this modern age to be able to user wired headphones that have been wadded up in your pocket all day. You have to grab one end and trace back till you come to the first knot. Working out that knot gently and then moving on to the next. Retracing the steps of the cable through and around itself enabling it to regain it’s original form and utility.

The nice thing about the unlearning process is that you are facilitated by the tools you have picked up during your early journey. You have the ability to validate stories now. You can draw your own conclusions. You can trust your own instincts. When you are a child you trust what you are told because you don’t have any other information to go on. As an adult you now have the tools to vet your conclusions and research those base assumptions.

The process of unlearning isn’t always easy. It can be downright painful. And it isn’t always complete. You can’t rebuild the whole infrastructure in one day. So you must deconstruct and rebuild a bit at a time, to avoid a mental collapse.

Consider that our mind is like a large chalkboard. When you are born you start with a clean slate. Over time you fill up the board with all sorts of information. Now as an adult you can audit that information and establish where to use the eraser and where to update the equations.

To quote a great and powerful teacher “You must unlearn what you have learned” – Yoda

We owe a lot to our upbringing and the foundation provided to us by our parents and teachers. But the time is here to begin walking backward.

Perhaps we will learn to walk backwards on water.

Perhaps we will unlock the secrets of the universe.

Perhaps we will simply make peace with our brothers and sisters that don’t deserve our subconscious prejudice.

The knowledge you have learned, has boxed you in and narrowed your focus too far. You’re bigger and better than all that.

Namaste,

Kevin

The Forest

I feel the forest around me.
It protects me as I am wary of life.

I travel along the winding path,
an echo of my spirit guides me.

I see the future behind me.
To go on, I must turn back.
I must leave myself behind to
travel this new direction.
A path of my own without myself.

-Kevin (1992)

young woman looking back walking on a forest

All Alone In The Night

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When the darkness comes, know that you are the right people, in the right place, at the right time. – Sebastian, Comes The Inquisitor, Babylon 5

 

It’s a pivotal moment in the series Babylon 5. The heroin is being tested to search out her true motivations. Is she in it for power? For notoriety? For ego? Why would the heroin choose to lead in such a dark moment? Why does she continue to suffer for the fate of others? Why does she put herself out there to risk her own death to stand up for her principles and the lives of others? What is in it for her?

 

The answer comes through the course of torture at the hands of the inquisitor. In the pit of her despair and deepest valley of pain, she offers her willingness to die to save a single person. If only one individual can be helped, alone in the dark, it is enough. It is this offering that appeases the inquisitor as he discovers that her motivations are valid and her actions are noble, with the proper intent. It is this willingness that leads to the conclusion that she and her companion are the right people in the right place at the right time.

 

Being alone is scary.

 

Being surrounded by darkness is scary.

 

Knowing that you may die, un-noted, un-remarked, in isolation, it is scary.

Knowing that the lives and hearts of your loved ones are threatened is terrifying.

 

You are your only champion.

 

Remember that the sun is shining.

Remember that you are not alone.

Live your life, embrace your passion, stand up for what you believe.

Lest the moment you were waiting for comes and goes and you miss it, waiting for your moment.

 

Namaste,

Kevin

#NoOnSB277

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Never Forget – You Are A Stranger In A Strange Land

Drought Confrontation

Have you ever gone somewhere new? (I’m hoping you answer yes)

You know that feeling you get when everything is foreign. You don’t know where anything is. You have to ask for help finding basic things, bathroom, food, shelter. Maybe you don’t even speak the language. You have to find someone that you can communicate with. You have to search for a base camp to begin your investigation of this new place. Searching this new destination hoping to find a friendly face. Seeking for common threads. Looking for a way to understand and interpret your new surroundings.

 

It can be any situation. Moving to a new home or country. Taking a new job. Talking to someone you’ve never met before. Even when you go on vacation to relax, you can find yourself somewhere new in unknown surroundings. Sometimes it can be fun, and sometimes it can be really stressful. Often it’s a bit of both.

 

It is pretty typical on day one to have all these feelings. Survival mode can kick in if you don’t find a common anchor. Where am I? What am I doing? Where will my needs be met?

 

Then you get your groove on. You figure out where you fit in in this new place. You establish patterns. You build up a list of favorite spots. Maybe you find a hiking path that you start to take every morning. Maybe you find a favorite coffee shop that you go to every day. Maybe every Tuesday you go to the same place for lunch. You establish patterns. You figure out what works for you. You lock it in.

 

You are no longer a stranger. Now this is your new home. Maybe you’ll be staying for a couple weeks. Maybe you will be here for a few years. But you’ve found a way to make it work and you’re in your groove.

 

And now, you’ve lost your edge. When you first go to a new place, everything is new. You notice everything. Everything is significant. Once you’ve been there for a while, you have established your patterns. You have decided what is important and decided what to ignore. The fresh is gone, and with it the awareness. Your acute sense of what is around you dulls down as it goes from new to familiar.

 

Our life here on earth is exactly like this. It’s astonishing for the first few years. Everything is amazing. Everything is so vivid. Everything is alive and vital.

 

We learn as we age. We figure out what to pay attention to and what to ignore. We establish patterns. But there is a lot that we’ve just learned to block out. Some good. Some bad. But we’ve lost our edge. We’ve shut down to the awareness of where we are and what we’re doing here. We may have even forgotten why we travelled here in the first place.

 

Never forget. You are a stranger in a strange land.

 

Namaste,

Kevin

Drought Confrontation

Seeking Recognition

Neon showing direction

It’s an easy trap to fall into. Seeking recognition.

You can tell yourself you’re just trying to stay level headed.

Making sure you don’t go off the societal rails.

Level setting.

Reconciling.

Trying not to rock the boat.

 

And to a point that’s true. But it’s also a way of washing out. It’s a way of diluting your personal potency in an effort to gain recognition. It’s a way of fishing for what the other person wants so you can turn around and offer it to them.

 

I’ve been in meetings with salesmen, where I can immediately tell they’re doing it. You ask a question such as “what are you offering our company?” and the salesmen replies with a wide smile “what do you need?” It is clear that the salesman is not there to help you, he is there to make a sale. So he is attempting to cater his offer to suit your every need. But that’s dependent on the person you’re talking to knowing what they need and being willing to share. If they can’t articulate it, or won’t, then you can not offer it. Everyone loses and you still have not been authentic about what you have to offer.

 

Likewise I’ve seen it when people are evangelizing to me about their religion. You can see it in their eyes when they speak and the inflection on the words they say. “Have you heard the good news, we can all be saved!” They’re not telling you what they believe, they’re sharing with you what they hope you will believe. Each person they convince, that they’re telling the truth, gives them a little more confidence that they are actually telling the truth. It’s like saying “If you believe what I’m saying, then maybe I can believe it to.”

 

But it is not being authentic. And it is not helping.

 

The truth is, we don’t need a watered down you.

We don’t want to hear what you think after it’s been filtered through a few ‘sane’ people.

Hmmm…. Well, I’ve got to warn you, that last statement was a lie. We probably do want you to be filtered. We probably do not want to really hear what you think. But we probably need to.

 

The world needs you raw and representing.

The world needs people that are who they are, unapologetically.

The world needs to be shaken up. We’ve gotten complacent. We’ve started to assume that everyone more or less agrees with us. Worse yet, we’ve started to feel that everyone more or less is okay with the path the planet is on. It feels like we’re going to hell in a hand basket and everyone is just okay with it.

 

We have enough sheep.

We need a few wolves.

We need to shake things up.

We need you to be you.

 

You don’t have to setup a billboard and call attention to your awesomeness.

Awesomeness will speak for itself. The the lights around your awesomeness will be so much brighter when they are authentic.

Step up!

 

Namaste,

Kevin

Neon showing direction

Losing My Sciligion (aka science as a religion)

Hooded figures in barren landscape

That’s me in the corner

That’s me in the spotlight

Losing my Sciligion…

 

It’s a frequent comment these days, “It seems that people have replaced religion with science.” Unfortunately, as is our tendency as human beings, we’ve been far too literal. People have literally replaced religion with science. Replacing one belief system with another.

 

Science isn’t supposed to be a belief system.

It’s not supposed to get bogged down with dogma and stigma and beliefs.

But it has become that.

 

There is a ruling class.

There are priests.

There are holy books.

There are even cults of science.

 

Science has become the new religion, and not in a good wholesome way.

 

People establish a framework of beliefs and don’t allow logic (aka science) to change their beliefs about their sciligion. We have groups of people being oppressed by scientific dogma. We have people being ostracized for their radical ideas. There are areas of inquiry that will get you laughed out of a room of “scientific” people. Areas of thought that aren’t allowed.

Does that sound like science to you?

Or does it sound more familiar, like old ways of thinking, like, for example, religion.

 

Science has become, to a great many people, Sciligion.

 

Think about some of the following statements:

“The bible says…”

“Well science says…”

“This is what C.S. Lewis says about pain…”

“This is what Einstein says about the universe…”

 

Just because Einstein is quoted as having said something doesn’t make it scientific. You shouldn’t be able to win an argument by saying “Well this is what Carl Sagan believed…” It’s belief, it’s dogma, it’s not the scientific method, it’s the religious method.

 

We are built to believe. We establish parameters and beliefs within which we process the rest of the world around us… But that is not scientific, that is psychological.

 

To be truly scientific you have to allow your fundamental concepts to be overturned. You have to allow for your fundamental thesis to be wrong. You have to allow for experiments and evidence to guide you to the answer.

 

Please don’t get me wrong, belief it important. Belief is powerful. But belief is belief, it is not science. Even if your beliefs are based on science at some point you’ve gone off the rails of fact and wandered into the fields of belief. Everybody has. But the scientifically minding is willing to accept they have done this. The Sciligious on the other hand believes they are above this failing and incapable of being wrong. Sound familiar? Perhaps the Pharisees of the bible could teach a thing of two to the Sciligious of today.

 

The next time someone challenges your foundation. Don’t correct them. Don’t tell them they’re wrong. Thank them for shaking things up a bit and do the research. Look into the facts. Don’t rebuttal with your beliefs. That’s just the blind leading the blind. If you think you’re scientifically minded, then be scientific.

 

If you want to operate out of your beliefs, that’s perfectly okay, but don’t call it science. Call it sciligion.

 

Namaste,

Kevin

Hooded figures in barren landscape