I remember time and again hearing this as a child. “If everyone else jumped off a bridge, would you do it?”

Sometimes it came from outside sources, but frequently it was from my own parents. Apparently there was an epidemic of bridge jumpings in their youth and it left a permanent scar on a generation of parents eager to reference it as the ultimate example of peer pressure.

Of course it’s a scare tactic. Of course it’s scary. The visual of jumping off a bridge, no support to grab on to, once your in the air, you are out of control. Plummeting to your doom with all your lemming friends that en mass decided to go bridge jumping that day.

And while it can be a lucrative tactic for awareness in a teenager of how peer pressure can cause us to do harmful things, it doesn’t always stick. Or in fact it has stuck in the opposite way. Bare with me for a moment as I walk through this.

We live in a generation that is afraid of jumping off bridges. We were duly warned have avoided that pitfall, while in fact missing the point of the lesson. Nobody is jumping off bridges anymore. We are all too afraid. We are all too concerned with the results of that jump that nobody does it. And now we follow peer pressure to not jump off the bridge. Everybody is doing it. (or more precisely not doing it)

We live in a culture of fear. Fear traps and enslaves. Fear makes people easy to manipulate. Fear makes people easy to herd. Fear makes people fall prey to peer pressure. The very same thing that our parents were warning us about as teens is now the cultural control mechanism that keeps us all in line. And we’re afraid to do anything different.

Please bare in mind, I’m not asking you to consider jumping off an actual bridge. I’m asking you to address your fear and see if it’s really worth holding onto. I’m asking you to consider that the very thing we were warned about avoiding, peer pressure, is now the same thing that holds you back. I’m asking you to consider no longer being afraid and no longer following the crowd and beginning to trust yourself and think for yourself. I’m asking you to learn how to jump off a metaphorical bridge and follow your instincts instead of someone else’s.

Jumping off a bridge is not easy. Especially when nobody else is doing it. But pause for a minute and ask why we’re so afraid of bridges. The answers might surprise you.

Namaste,

Kevin

I am a saint.

I am an jerk.

I am God’s gift to mankind.
I am a menace to society.

I am the cause of pain and suffering.

I am a salve to the wounds of the world.

I am the full spectrum of life on this planet.

I am human.
I am Kevin.

I am all that.

The challenge of being all that, is accepting, what all that is. We will have good days, and bad days. We will be good to people, we will be bad to people. We will be idolized, we will be demonized. We will be all that.

To look at only the good things we do and say that defines our character is sugarcoating and a falsehood.

To look at only the bad things we do and say that defines our character is defeatist and a falsehood.

To say that we are simply the sum of our actions is to deny the power of a single act.

To say that we are defined by a single act is to deny the sum of our actions.

There is a sanskrit word, Maya, simply defined it means illusion, or more accurately delusion. Maya refers to the mental state in which most of us live, accepting the input that meshes with our world view and denying the input that clashes.  We have a very easy time bringing in the like, the similar, those things that agree with us. And we have a very difficult time accepting those things that we have not programmed ourselves to accept. Maya is this illusion created by our filtering. The illusion is created by our accepting of things and rejecting other things to make up a reality our mind can believe. But maya is not the truth.

Accept that you will have be good and you will be bad. You will be saintly and you will be a sinner. You will have good days and you will have bad days.

Or, as stated in the immortal words of U2
Some days are dry, some days are leaky
Some days come clean, other days are sneaky
Some days take less, but most days take more
Some slip through your fingers and onto the floor

Some days are better than others

You are all that, and that is exactly what you are intended to be. Embrace the experience and open your process to accept the things that don’t always mesh. A full experience of life is happening all around you, your job is to stop denying it. Be All That.

Namaste,

Kevin

If it hasn’t happened recently, I’m sure you have a memory of it, “Okay everybody count off by 1 and 2 and break into 2 groups. 1’s over here and 2’s over here.”

“1”.”2″.”1″.”2″….(kids counting off (or adults))

And everybody splits into two teams. two sides. Suddenly from ‘We’, there is now ‘Us’ and ‘Them’. They become the competition, they become the enemy, they are different, because they are not Us.

Whether you’re divided by the white lines of a touch ball court, the gray lines of the vaccine debate, or the red lines of pro life or pro choice, the reaction always seems to be the same. ‘They’ are out to get us! They stand for everything we stand against. They must be stopped, they must be corrected, they must be educated or put down.

The touch ball game ends when the bell rings and recess is over. But dividing into categories never does. It is human nature to seek differences. We train our minds at it, we revel in it, our brains are good at it.

It’s a game we play as children, “Can you spot the difference in these two pictures?” And our brains revel in it, it’s what they were made for.

But there is such a thing as “Too much of a good thing”.

We tend to subdivide, to accidentally insult, we assume those around us are the same and deride those that are different. When we are lucky our friend points out that they feel differently, when we are not we have begun to distance ourselves from our friend.

It’s not that we have to be guarded in everything we say. But we need to be compassionate. If you find yourself starting to make a statement such as “I can’t believe that he would…” or “I heard that she believes…”, stop and consider your impetus. What are your goals in saying it? Are you really concerned with that the other person believes? Or hoping to find an ally that will back you up in what you believe? Is the other person really completely wrong? Or are you just hoping to find someone else that will reinforce what you believe as right?

It has happened time and time again in my life, I will make a statement to a friend like “Did you know Andy thinks <this> is true?” And the friend that I am talking to will have more information than I do, and explain why Andy came to that conclusion and in some cases what lead him down that path. And I am blessed for it, because my world opens up. I see things with a new prospective and realize that my way of thinking, the way I learned things, is not the only way to look at it.

And when I’m having my more enlightened moments, I can change the question. It’s no longer gossip, it’s now inquiry. “Do you know why Andy thinks <this> is true? I’ve not heard of that before.”

I came across this potent quote in the last week. “Reality is that, that when which you stop believing it in, refuses to go away.” -Philip K. Dick (Renowned science fiction author)

If you stop and consider all the things you believe in, a great deal of them will go away if you stop believing in them. Even better when you stop holding up a false belief, the reality of a situation, or experience, can present itself instead of the false representation that you’ve made up.

The human mind is excellent at spotting differences. But this is a very base function. We are capable and encouraged by our higher minds to spot the difference and learn from it, as opposed to dividing into teams as a result of it. We are always encouraged to “Be not quick to anger.” I would also encourage you to “Be not quick to split up into small groups.”

With that in mind, everybody count off by 1, and then break into one large group. There is only Us.

Namaste,

Kevin

Today is a simple message. It’s a reminder to have fun. Life can get WAAAAY too serious if you let it. In fact, it’s not always a matter of giving life permission to get serious, it just sort of creeps up on you when you’re not paying attention. The next thing you know, you haven’t laughed in way too long.

Have you ever noticed it’s hard to give a high five and not enjoy it? Well maybe it’s just me. But when you give a high five, and I mean really give a high five, not just hold your hand up, you have to smile and get excited.

Take some time today and tell a joke. Congratulate someone with a high five. Give someone you care about a random hug and tickle. This last one works great on 4 year olds, but can be effective with spouses and other people too. Just make sure you know them well enough. 🙂

Here are a few bad jokes to get you started.

What’s green, very small, and goes up and down?

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A pea in an elevator.

My personal favorite (and I do apologize for telling this one.)

What’s brown and sounds like a bell?

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DUNG!

And to all my readers, that are comfortable with it, big internet hug from me. 🙂

Namaste,

Kevin

Cast your mind back to the late 1980’s, when Star Trek: The Next Generation began. An actor named Wil Wheaton played a character on the show named Wesley Crusher. It’s an interesting phenomenon to me that I usually begin to like an actor by the characters they play on TV, and then I begin to dislike them as I learn more about the person they are. It’s not always the case, but sadly it has happened. With Wil Wheaton I had the exact opposite experience. I wasn’t always a fan of Wesley Crusher, probably cause I was jealous and wanted to be him (The guy flying around on the enterprise, not the actor). But in the late 90’s I came across his blog and the more I learned about his real life, the more I appreciated him. He even introduced me to one of my favorite bands, Soul Coughing.

This week he’s reached out to me once more through a viral video. What I really appreciate is that he was the right person, in the right place at the right time to help the person that asked the question. And that we live in a world that can appreciate these moments.

Take a few minutes and watch this video if you can. link.

The summary is that he highlights that the girl being called nerd is going to be okay. I have a hard time summarizing what he says to her because he makes so many good points, and it’s still a painful topic.

Nerd is an interesting title.

In childhood, it was a label of oppression. A label of difference. A mark of shame.

I’ve heard it said that “Sticks and Stones will break my bones, but words hurt more than anything.” I have had many physical injuries over the year. But bruises and scratches heal. Sometimes they leave a scar, but I can press on it and it doesn’t hurt. However when I think back to some moments in my childhood involving teasing, I can still find myself wincing in pain.

But as time went on, quite a bit of time, and I came to realize that the title ‘nerd’ was applied to me for all the things I loved about myself, it shifted. It has taken years of healing, and I’m still working on it, but I now proudly wear the title nerd. It’s even highlighted on one of my favorite t-shirts.

The very things that make me stand out and called attention in my youth, make me outstanding and call attention in my adulthood. I’ve just had to find the right people who appreciate them, and me.

We have not been brought here to be everything to everyone. We are simply tasked with being the best us that we can be. Or put into less plurality, I am tasked with being the best Me I can be. And being the best I can be involves accepting me and loving me as I am.

In the words of Wil Wheaton, “It does get easier”.

Namaste,

Kevin