So what did you think of?
You’re not as good as you think?
You’re not as bad as you think?
What other words popped up? Ugly? Short? Stupid? Smart? Loved? Hated?
It’s an interesting little test. I come up with my own words each time. Initially it feels like an exercise in what other people think of you… But upon further reflection, it’s just you and your thoughts going at that little blank space. So it’s really about what you think other people think about you. Or more to the point what you subconsciously struggle with.
For me, I worry that I’m not as smart as I think. Or sometimes I worry that I’m not as good a person as I think I am. An interesting aspect of this exercise is that your fill in the blank work always has a grain of truth and is usually dead wrong.
Meaning that, there is an aspect of soul reflection that comes out of this that should not be let go. You should process how your chosen adjective really overlays on your reality and world view.
Additionally, it is a perfect moment to be aware of your own self judgement. And, for the most part, you can tell that voice to roll. Get away with your negative thoughts. I am freak-in awesome and you need to deal with it…
Yes, the voice in my head and I do have arguments occasionally. Luckily I very rarely show that to the outside world. That would be weird… Unless I write about it… Which could also come off as weird. Weird.
What was I saying?
Ah, yes. Self work. There is a value to self work. It both feeds into, and is fed by, self awareness. The first step to removing a thorn in your foot, is being aware a thorn is there. Nerves in your foot send pain signals to your brain that tells you something is wrong. You can ignore them, you can pretend they are not there. You can walk along barefoot and get more and more splinters, till the bottom of your foot is covered with little slivers of wood…
Our society encourages this when it comes to self work. We are encouraged to ignore the small voices in our soul that point out splinters. We are lead to believe statements like “Self work and self awareness are a product of conceit and being too self involved.” And like all statements that sound reasonable, there is a grain of truth. But the truth needs to lead to balance, not denial. You can’t, and shouldn’t, focus 100 percent on self. Nor should you focus 100 percent of other. Life requires balance.
Our society appear to encourage imbalance. But that is merely a product of the focus on dramatic. News reports don’t tend to focus on the average, they seek out the sensational. Nobody would be drawn to the news if the reports had headlines like, “Another man came home from work today and spent time with his children”. “In Ohio today 14 children were bathed and put to bed after story time”. “Woman finds happiness in the little things and shares love with her friends”.
Self work is exceptional. Self work is vital. Self work will never make the headlines.
If you want to change the world, start with yourself. If you are a mess and you start by trying to change the world, you make the world a mess. Seek balance in self and know yourself. You will radiate balance and earned confidence to a world that desperately needs it.
Remember the work you do on self today seems boring. It can even be painful. But it is just and righteous and worthy of your time. You, are worthy of your time.